Rebuilding
by ciaddict
Summary: Sequel to September 11, 2001 A continuation of Annie and Bobby's story. They are rebuilding their lives after the traumatic events of the last year.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: I do not own any Law and Order Criminal Intent characters, nor do I own any characters from Law and Order who m

_Author's note: I do not own any Law and Order Criminal Intent characters, nor do I own any characters from Law and Order who might show up. Dick Wolf, of course, owns them and has done quite well by them._

I do own the other characters in this story: Annie, the children, Grandpa, and various other people (named and unnamed). They inhabit my imagination where they live out their lives trying to fit into the LOCI universe. This story goes back into the past and plays the "what if" game. What if Bobby was married and had a family? So here is a warning: There will be some necessary changes to canon in order to fit Annie and the kids into Bobby's life, creating a parallel LOCI universe. If you are not OK with that, you won't like this story (or any future installments) and I completely understand if you pass.

_This story takes place throughout season 2. Chapter one is refers to the episode "Bright Boy."__  
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**REBUILDING**

**Chapter 1**

"Yay, Andrew! Good hit!"

Annie Paine clapped her hands as her five year-old son dropped the bat and ran to first base. This was the third Tee Ball game for Phillip and Andrew. She looked across the park and saw her husband, Bobby Goren, approaching. His partner, Alex Eames, was with him. They were detectives with the Major Case Squad with the NYPD.

Eight year old Ally caught sight of her father and ran to throw herself into his arms. Annie smiled and scooted over to make room for them in the bleachers. Bobby leaned over and kissed her as he sat down.

"You made it! The boys will be so excited! So, where does Captain Deakins think his two ace detectives are on this fine, sunny afternoon?"

Bobby chuckled, "We just interviewed a witness. The park is on the way back to One PP. So, what's the score?"

Annie laughed and answered, "You know very well that there is no score in Tee Ball. It's a skill-building, learning experience. You are going to have to wait a few years until they are old enough for Little League to do your 'competitive sports dad' routine. This is the second inning and Andrew just batted. Phillip will be up soon." She leaned forward so she could see Alex better and said, "Hi Alex. Sorry Bobby dragged you out here."

"He didn't have to drag me. I love seeing the kids play. You aren't playing today, Ally?"

"No, I'm in the Minor League. We have practice tomorrow and a game on Saturday."

They all cheered and clapped as Andrew trotted home, and again as Phillip hit the ball off the tee. Both boys saw their father and yelled and waved to him. When the game ended, Bobby and Ally went out to the field to tell them how well they had done. Alex and Annie sat in the bleachers watching Bobby with the kids.

"The twins look like little clones of their father," Alex observed. Annie laughed and agreed. After the boys got their juice and snack, they went over for a hug from Aunt Alex. Bobby and Alex said they had played hooky long enough and had to get back to work before the captain started looking for them.

Annie watched them walk away and then watched for a few minutes as all three of her children ran around with abandon, playing tag. It was hard to tell who was "it", and ultimately it didn't matter as the real purpose was simply running and screaming. She breathed in the scent of spring; sunshine, freshly-mown grass, and flowers in bloom. Everything seemed new and fresh in the spring, and especially _this_ spring. As New York struggled to recover from the attacks of September 11, her family was also recovering from the attack on Annie almost a year ago that had killed the baby she was carrying and nearly killed her as well. She once again whispered a prayer of gratitude that her city and her family were finding some semblance of normalcy following the very traumatic events of the last year.

That night Bobby and Annie prepared dinner while the kids played upstairs. They often talked about their work, especially when something funny happened or when one of them had a hard day. Annie never revealed the names or identities of patients, but would describe interesting cases or procedures. Bobby would talk about cases he was working on, but rarely gave her very many details on open cases. When Annie read the newspaper, she would try to guess what crimes had been assigned to the Major Case Squad. After two years she was getting pretty good at it.

Bobby and Alex were investigating the murder of the deputy mayorand a social worker, which had led them to a college with a program for children with genius-level IQ. Bobby was describing a teenager they had talked to.

"I wish you could see this kid, Annie. He's around 14 or 15, and really into the rebellious stage. His hair is spiked and he's got all these piercings. All he wants to do is play his guitar. He says hot babes like musicians, not math geeks. And he said that math chicks don't look like Jennifer Connelly."

Annie turned to him and said, "Hey, I think I'm insulted. I was a math chick." She sighed and said, "But it is true; I don't look like Jennifer Connelly."

Bobby chuckled and leaned down to kiss her neck. "I wanted to tell him that my wife is a math chick _and _a hot babe!"

"Nice save, Detective," she giggled.

"He told us he wants off the 'baby-genius' track. He said he and the other 'baby-geniuses' had been together in math camp since they came out of the test tube."

He laughed at the memory and Annie laughed with him.

"His mother was embarrassed," he continued. "She made sure we knew he wasn't a test tube baby. She seems exasperated, but tolerant with him. She let him drop out of the program to pursue his music. That's got to be good, don't you think? It seems like he has a good support system, loving family. I think he'll be OK."

She agreed that it seemed like this young genius would be alright and find his way in life. His concern for the boy was another reminder of the unhappy childhood her husband had endured. While not a genius, he was certainly highly intelligent and had a curiosity that drove him to study and research a wide variety of subjects. As a child his mother had introduced him to a love of reading and books, one of the few positive memories he had.

Both brothers were intelligent. But being the oldest, their parents had higher expectations for Frank. If either of his parents were aware of Bobby's intelligence, they didn't acknowledge it. He was never pushed academically, as his brother was. Mostly he was simply ignored. His father was too wrapped in his gambling and womanizing to be concerned. His mother's mental illness had kept her from being active in much of Bobby's childhood, especially his education. During her "good" periods, Frances was usually more concerned with how well Frank was doing in school and William Goren pushed Frank to do well and "make something of himself".

Bobby cleared his throat and said, "I, uh, talked to Frank today. I invited him for dinner Saturday night. Is that OK?"

"Oh goody, an evening with Frank. I can't wait," she said sarcastically. Then she instantly regretted it as she saw the hurt look on his face. He looked down at the floor.

"I'm sorry. I know I should have checked with you first, but we were talking, and….I….well, it's been a long time since we got together."

She went and put her arms around his waist. "Oh Babe, don't apologize. _I'm_ sorry. That was uncalled for. Frank and I just don't 'gel', but you know your brother is always welcome here. The kids will be thrilled to see Uncle Frank. Want me to make your mother's meatloaf?"

He hugged her and kissed the top of her head. "Thank you. I know Frank's not your favorite person and I appreciate how hard you try. Meatloaf will be perfect; it was Frank's favorite when we were kids."

"Well, even with your mother's recipe I doubt that it will be as good as hers."

He chuckled. "Your meatloaf is great. And Frank will be grateful just to have a home cooked meal."

She almost told him that it was unlikely Frank would be grateful for anything coming from her, but she caught herself in time and kept quiet.

After dinner there were baths to complete, homework to check, the bedtime story, and prayers. Bobby spent some time with each of the kids, beyond the assigned homework they had completed, going over flash cards with them; math for Ally and reading words for the twins. All three of them were ahead of their grade level in math and reading because of the extra "tutoring". Sometimes, instead of flash cards, he would explain to them about something he had read in "The Smithsonian" or another magazine. He talked to them about art, showing them pictures of famous paintings. Or about music, playing classical pieces for them. He made it a game for them and they looked forward to their time alone with their father. They were disappointed on the nights that Bobby had to work late.

After the kids were settled in bed, Bobby and Annie relaxed on the couch, reading. He was lying with his head in her lap and she idly ran her fingers through his hair as she read.

"We saw another boy today," Bobby said softly.

Annie marked her place in her book and laid it down. This was not going to be another funny story. She could tell from the tone of his voice and the fact that he waited until the kids were in bed to bring this up that he was bothered by something. This was how he talked out feelings about cases that bothered him and sometimes brought up personal issues for him. Such as the day that an investigation had led them to a crematorium owner who was crudely burying bodies on his property rather than cremating them. The sight and smell of all those bodies had brought back memories for Bobby of working in the temporary morgue on September 11. She played with his dark curls and waited.

"There was a younger boy, ten years old. He really is a genius; he graduated from high school when he was seven. But he's been home-schooled by his father for almost his whole life. This college program is really the first time he's been in a real school."

Annie said, "Well, home-schooling can be a good thing for kids. I know a few families that home-school and the kids are bright, ahead of their grade level, and well-adjusted. They get together with other home-schoolers for field trips and social activities."

"Yeah, but I get the impression that this dad isn't the 'get together' type. I think it's just been the boy and his father until now. I don't think he's ever socialized with kids his own age. I asked to see his room so I could talk to him alone. This kid loves baseball, said it's the thinking man's game. He told me everyone who managed the Yankees in the '80s. But he hides his baseball equipment from his father. He told me that his father says baseball has 'no added value' to his education. He just has this aura of sadness around him and his father doesn't seem to know. Or he doesn't care, as long as he's fulfilling his 'genius potential'."

"You can't save them all, Babe," Annie said softly.

"I know. It's just that he is so young." Bobby sighed. He reached up to take hold of her hand that was playing with his hair and kissed her palm. "You have to work tomorrow. Are you ready for bed?"

They went up to bed and Bobby held her until she dozed off. But she felt him get up, as he often did after she was asleep, so he could go down to his office in the basement to read and study criminal profiles.

On Saturday night Annie made a meatloaf from her mother-in-law's recipe. The children were excited that Uncle Frank was coming for dinner and Annie tried to be excited for them. She and Frank had never liked one another very much, but they had an unspoken truce when the children were around. When Frank arrived, Annie was in the kitchen. She heard his voice and the children's squeals of delight with the presents he brought them. She stood in the doorway and watched before going in to greet him.

It amazed her that these two men could have come from the same set of parents. Bobby was disciplined, ethical, and empathetic. Frank had a typical addict's personality, was always looking for a quick and easy way to support himself and his habits, and cared little for anyone's needs but his own. She was glad to see that he seemed to be clean and sober; he must be in a program. Frank had predictable cycles of sobriety, then he would gradually become involved with gambling, which would lead to drinking, and finally to drugs. He had been homeless several times in the ten years she and Bobby had been married. With their father dead and their mother in a psychiatric facility, the job of rescuing Frank had fallen to Bobby. There were times that they lost contact with him for months but once Bobby found him he would bring him home to get cleaned up, pay for a room for him to stay in for several months, take him to meetings, and help him find work. They had discussed many times whether they were helping or enabling Frank.

Annie put a smile on her face and went to tell Frank hello. She almost enjoyed his visits when he was sober. He was intelligent, funny, and entertaining. Tonight was no exception. He told stories that kept the children laughing. He and Bobby talked about some of the few good memories they had of growing up. After dinner she shooed everyone into the living room and cleaned the kitchen by herself. Then she took the children upstairs to take their baths and let the brothers have some time alone. After their baths, Bobby came up to read to Ally while Annie read to Phillip and Andrew.

When she finished reading to the boys, she realized that Frank was standing in the doorway watching the three of them. The boys demanded he come in and kiss them goodnight. She and Frank left the bedroom and stood for a moment outside Ally's room where they could hear Bobby's soft, low voice reading to her.

"Yes, at the very bottom of my soul I feel grateful to all my misery and bouts of sickness and everything about me that is imperfect, because this sort of thing leaves me with a hundred backdoors through which I can escape from enduring habits."

Frank looked at Annie incredulously and laughed. Ally heard him and called him to come and kiss her goodnight. Frank and Annie went back downstairs while Bobby finished reading to Ally. Annie saw that Frank was trying to keep his laughter under control, but once downstairs he gave up and laughed out loud.

"Nietzsche?! He's reading Nietzsche to his eight year old daughter for bedtime?!"

Annie chuckled and said, "Well, it puts her to sleep."

Frank sat down on the couch and Annie sat in a chair. Frank looked at her thoughtfully.

"If I remember my Nietzsche correctly, he wasn't too crazy about religion. I'm surprised a devout Christian like yourself would let your children be exposed to his writings", Frank said.

"Well, Christianity has survived two thousand years of persecution, apostasy, intrigue, and critical thinkers. I think my faith and my children will survive his philosophy."

"Have you seen Mom lately?" Frank asked, changing the subject.

"Sure, we went to see her today. She was asking about you. She always asks about you. You should go see her. Come with us next weekend."

Frank shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah, maybe." He looked back at Annie and asked, "So, how are the family jewels?"

Annie laughed. After ten years, it still bothered Frank that his mother had given her a string of pearls that had belonged to her mother.

"Wow, I'm impressed, Frank. You were here three whole hours before bringing up the pearls. That must be some kind of record."

She was relieved to hear Bobby coming down the stairs. When Frank was drunk or on drugs he was usually angry at Annie, often calling her names and accusing her of lying to his mother about him. When he was sober, his anger took on a more passive-aggressive form as he tried to push buttons he thought would upset her. Bobby leaned down and kissed the top of her head as he passed, then he settled on the couch next to Frank. Annie pulled out blanket she was crocheting and worked on it as she listened to Frank and Bobby talking. She smiled as she watched Bobby. He really enjoyed being with his brother when Frank was sober.

Frank was laughing as he asked, "You seriously read Nietzsche to your kids at bedtime?"

Bobby grinned sheepishly. "Not every night. I read regular kid's books to them, too. I just want to, you know, expose them to a…a…wide variety of ideas."

"Let me guess. You drag them to museums every weekend, the New York Public Library, you use a trip to the zoo as a lesson on different cultures around the world, you have flashcards for math and reading, and you've got a piano over there so I'm seeing piano lessons and long hours of practice. Teaching them any foreign languages yet?"

Bobby was still smiling, but he shifted uncomfortably. "A little German."

Frank snorted derisively. "C'mon Bobby, you're really going to drag your kids through all that 'broadening their horizons' crap that Mom tried with us? At least she tried it when she wasn't crazy and crawling around the apartment looking for imaginary bugs. We hated that stuff. Why would you do that to your own kids?"

Bobby rubbed the back of his neck and didn't answer right away. "I didn't hate it, Frank. I liked going to those places with Mom."

"You were just happy any time she acted half-way normal. And Mom and Dad didn't push you the way they pushed me. 'You are so smart, Frank, we know you can get straight A's. You are so good in math, Frank, you could be a scientist someday. You don't have time for sports, Frank, you need to concentrate on your studies. With your brains and your grades, Frank, you could get into the best colleges.' It was a load of crap, Bobby. I hated all that stuff. You don't know how jealous I was of you because you could just go out and play, you could join the basketball team in high school, you could just hang out with Lewis and work on his broken down car."

"I…I had no idea. I'm sorry Frank."

Frank laughed and lightly punched Bobby in the shoulder. "Don't worry about it, little brother. I guess we turned out OK, considering the messed up family we came from. Hey, didn't you tell me you found a vintage Frank Sinatra vinyl? Let's hear it."

Bobby smiled. He got up and led Frank down to his office where he had his collection of records. Annie could see that in spite of the smile, some of the joy had gone out of the evening for him. She got a book and curled up on the couch. She fell asleep, but woke up when Bobby and Frank came back upstairs.

As they were telling Frank goodbye Annie told him, "Ally has a piano recital at the end of the month. I know she would be thrilled if you came."

Frank said he would try. Bobby and Annie stood on the front steps and watched him drive away. He was quiet as they went back in the house. Annie started turning off lights.

Bobby told her, "I think I'm going to go downstairs for a while. You go ahead and go to bed. I'll be up later."

"OK." Annie kissed him and watched him walk towards the basement. She went upstairs and got ready for bed. She recognized the troubled look on her husband's face. Unfortunately it was all too common to see it after a visit with either his mother or his brother. Something that was said would trigger the insecurities and self-doubts that only arose around his family. She knew that there was nothing she could do but wait until he was ready to talk about it.

It was much later when Bobby finally came to bed. Annie woke up as he wrapped his arms around her and snuggled against her back. He buried his face in her hair and inhaled appreciatively. She laced her fingers through his and leaned back against him.

"Are you OK?" she asked sleepily.

"Yes." He kissed her ear. "You know, Frank was right. Mom and Dad pushed him so hard. He had to have the top grades and they wanted him to focus on his school work and not 'goof off'. And after Dad left, Frank was supposed to keep up his grades and take care of Mom at the same time. He says he was jealous of me because I got to goof off. I was always jealous of him because they gave him so much attention."

He was silent for a moment before asking softly, "Do I push the kids too hard?"

"No."

"Everything Frank said, I do. The flashcards, the museums, the zoo, the music lessons, the German lessons. Reading Nietzsche to them—that _is_ weird, isn't it?"

Annie sighed and pulled away from him so that she could sit up and turn to face him.

"Yeah, the Nietzsche is a little weird; I'll give him that. But the German? You know that kids pick up foreign languages a lot faster than adults do; it only makes sense to expose them to it now. And in case you've forgotten, the piano lessons were my idea. There is nothing wrong with flashcards, museums, or the zoo. You are a great dad and our kids are very normal and healthy."

"That's exactly the kind of stuff Mom made us do. You heard Frank; he hated it."

"And you loved it. Bobby, the kids have _fun_ with you doing all those things. They love being with you and they love going to all those places with you."

Bobby reached over and pulled her down so that she was lying with her head on his chest. He was silent for a few minutes.

"Do you remember the boy I told you about the other day?" he asked.

"The teenage rock star or the ten year old genius?"

"The ten year old. His father confessed to murdering the social worker and the deputy mayor."

"I saw that on the news. He was that boy's father? Why did he kill them? Does the boy have family to take care of him?"

"He…..he didn't say why he killed them." Annie knew there was more to it than that, but she also knew that Bobby couldn't tell her. "An aunt and uncle came to get him. The thing is that boy wasn't really a genius."

"What do you mean? You said he graduated from high school when he was seven!"

"Yeah, but it turns out the kid is very smart and has a really good memory. All the personality tests, the SATs, all those tests he's taken over the years—it was all his father. He drilled him over and over until he memorized all those tests and answers so he could pass them. This kid's whole life has been nothing but trying to please his father and be the genius he wanted him to be."

Annie could see where he was headed and tightened her arms around him. "Babe, you are nothing like that father."

"Maybe not as extreme, but…"

"Bobby stop! Look, you said that this little boy couldn't even play baseball, that his whole life was studying….or memorizing, I guess. That's not our kids. They play baseball, there's music….Babe, they watch 'Spongebob Squarepants', for crying out loud!"

Bobby chuckled softly and Annie went on. "Look, Frank hated all the 'culture' stuff your mother dragged him to because the attention came with all these expectations. For you it was all about craving the attention that your parents were too wrapped up in themselves and Frank to give you. And that little boy had all of his father's attention, but like Frank, he also had all his unrealistic expectations. None of that applies to our children. You spend time with them, you encourage them to do their best, you have fun with them."

Annie wondered, as she often did, how her brilliant husband could understand so much about human psychology, yet with his own family he was still the sad, neglected little boy. He didn't say anything, but lay quietly, tracing patterns on her back. Annie raised herself up on her elbow and looked down at him.

"How about this? Tomorrow…well, today," she said, glancing at the clock next to the bed, "we will forget about the museum and go on a picnic. No flash cards, no 'culture', just fun. How's that sound?"

Bobby's eyes still looked doubtful, but he smiled and rubbed his thumb across her cheek.

"A picnic? Does that mean fried chicken?"

She smiled down at him. "Sure, fried chicken for you and fried 'chicken-like' gluten for me. And the kids get to choose whichever."

Since allowing the children to choose whether to eat meat once each of them turned five, they had all chosen to eat the same foods their father did. But Annie continued trying to coax them to eat vegetarian foods. They all liked her vegetarian dishes, but still ate the meat dishes their father liked. Bobby pulled her down to kiss her.

"Is there anything else you would like to do to make me feel better?" he asked in a soft, low voice that was impossible for Annie to resist. She gave an exaggerated sigh.

"Well, OK. But hurry so I can get back to sleep."

Bobby laughed as he grabbed her, flipped her onto her back, and rolled on top of her.

"Hurry up? No problem!"

Annie giggled until his kisses became so passionate and intense that it made it difficult to even breathe.

The next afternoon they arrived at the park with their picnic—including fried chicken, fried "chicken-like" gluten, potato salad, raw vegetables, and freshly made chocolate chip cookies for dessert. After eating, the children ran off some of their energy while their parents cleaned up, then they all walked to the lake to feed the ducks. They came back and played on the swings, slide, and monkey bars. Annie sat on the blanket and watched Bobby tossing a baseball with them and giving them batting tips. He joined her on the blanket to watch them play tag. After tiring of playing tag, Ally decided to teach her brothers a song.

"OK, guys," said Ally, "I'm gonna teach you a baseball song. If you want to play Little League someday, you need to learn it."

"OK," Andrew and Phillip answered. They sat on the grass and gave their big sister their undivided attention as she began singing.

When you're sliding into first  
And your pants begin to burst  
diarrhea, diarrhea

The boys began to laugh and joined in on the chorus of "diarrhea, diarrhea" in very loud voices.

When you're sliding into two  
And your pants are filled with goo  
DIARRHEA! DIARRHEA!

When you're sliding into third  
And you feel a greasy turd  
DIARRHEA! DIARRHEA!

When you're sliding into home  
And your pants are filled with foam  
DIARRHEA! DIARRHEA!

Annie looked at Bobby solemnly and said, "I think you're right. They are MUCH too focused on intellectual pursuits."

He looked at her silently for a moment. All three children's voices rose to an alarming volume as they wound up for the grand finale.

You know it's not very funny  
but it's very hot and runny  
DIARRHEA! DIARRHEA!

Slowly Bobby began to smile, then chuckle, and then his rich throaty laugh seemed to rock his entire body. Annie giggled at his reaction and was soon joining his contagious laughter. All three children laughed with delight that their parents found them so entertaining. They all ran and flopped down on the blanket.

"That's a cool song, huh Daddy?" Phillip asked.

Still laughing, Bobby ruffled Phillip's dark curls and said, "Yes, that's a very cool song. Where did you learn it, Ally?"

"From the older kids in Little League," Ally replied, very pleased with herself.

As the laughter began to die down, Annie lay down on the blanket and looked up at the sky.

"Hey, everyone lay down at look at these beautiful clouds," she said.

They all complied and lay there in silence for a few moments. Annie asked, "What do you see up there, Babe?"

Bobby answered, "I see cumulus clouds. See how they have slightly flat bases and clearly defined edges? If the tops of the clouds continue to grow vertically, they develop into cumulonimbus clouds, or thunderstorm clouds. The base of a cumulonimbus cloud can be as close as 300 feet from Earth's surface and extend upward to over 12,000 fee…." Annie cut him off with a hand over his mouth.

"OK, let's start over, Mr. Encyclopedia," she giggled. "What _shapes_ do you see in the clouds? See that one right up there? Doesn't it look like a giraffe?"

Ally pointed and exclaimed, "I see a fairy princess!"

Bobby pulled Annie's hand from his mouth and grinned at her. "OK, right over there I see a monkey."

Phillip yelled, "I see a football!"

Andrew pointed and said, "Look! There's a spaceship!"

Annie began telling a story about a football-playing giraffe, the naughty monkey who stole the football, the fairy princess who showed the monkey the error of his ways, and the spaceship that the monkey and giraffe climbed into for a trip to the moon. As she finished the story she realized that all three children had fallen asleep. Bobby reached over and pulled her close.

"Have I mentioned that I love you?" he asked softly.

"Back at 'cha, Big Guy," she whispered.

She felt him relax as they lay and silently watched the clouds

**End Chapter One**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

_Set during and after "Anti-Thesis"_

"You're almost there, Annie! C'mon, you can do it!"

Annie shifted her weight and reached for the next hold on the rock climbing wall. She climbed the last few feet to the top, where Alex waited for her. She caught her breath a moment before the two of them rappelled back down to the bottom.

"You know that I only do this when I come here with you, right?" Annie asked once her breathing had returned to normal.

Alex laughed at her. "You should do it more often, it's a great workout."

"Maybe for someone with upper body strength like yours," Annie said as she sadly compared her toned biceps to Alex's more muscular ones.

"And just how do you think I got that upper body strength? OK, OK, we're done. Let's hit the showers. Since you were such a good sport about the climbing wall, you get to choose where we go for dinner. Do I get three guesses what you'll choose?"

Annie laughed as she and Alex said in unison, "Tacos!"

Later they settled into a booth at Alejandro's with their drinks; a Vodka Margarita for Alex and a Virgin Margarita for Annie. Alex sipped her drink appreciatively.

"It probably won't be long before I have to give these up and join you with the non-alcoholic version," she said.

"So you're definitely going to do it?"

"Yeah, I am. Neither my sister nor I are getting any younger, and my biological clock is ticking just like hers. If I'm going to be a surrogate for her, I think it's now or never."

"Wow, this is big, Alex. It's huge! So when does all this take place?"

Alex sighed and dipped a chip in salsa. "We have an appointment at the fertility clinic next week. They'll do a bunch of tests. In the next month or two we'll start taking hormones to get us regulated on the same cycle. Then she'll take hormones to mature her eggs and I'll take hormones to convince my uterus to get ready for pregnancy. Hopefully within a few months, I'll be pregnant."

The waiter came and took their orders. During dinner they talked about Alex's decision to be a surrogate for her sister, her family, and their reactions to what she and her sister planned. Annie talked about her children and about work.

Alex asked, "Has Bobby talked to you about any cases lately?"

"Well, he mentioned going to a university literature class and discussing Moby Dick. That's right up his alley. So I'm guessing you two are investigating the murder of Dr. Winthrop at Hudson University. But of course, Detective Goren will neither confirm nor deny any of my speculations," Annie laughed. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, no reason. I know he had….fun….in that class and wondered if he told you about it."

Annie considered pressing her husband's partner for details, but she knew that Alex would not say anything else. It wasn't like her to even ask about Bobby. If she was concerned enough to ask, then Annie was curious.

When Annie got home Bobby was just finishing his "tutoring session" with Phillip while Ally was putting her dolls to bed and Andrew was coloring a picture of a police officer and squad car. Together they completed the bed time routine of stories, prayers, good night kisses, and "just one more drink of water". Bobby told Annie he had some case studies he needed to look at and went down to his basement office. He seemed distracted and it occurred to Annie that he had been distracted for few days. That wasn't unusual for her dedicated detective when he was working on a difficult case. But with Alex's "innocent question" tonight, she decided she needed to do some investigation of her own.

Annie took a book and went down to Bobby's office. Bobby was sitting at the large oak desk that Annie had bought for him for their first Christmas in their new house. She had found it at an estate sale in her hometown in Connecticut that summer, and had kept it at her grandfather's home until Christmas. Bobby's friend Lewis had loaned her his truck and gone with her to transport it back to New York. It was large enough to allow Bobby to spread out paperwork, books, and his notes.

She went up behind him and kissed the back of his neck. He turned in his seat, smiled up at her, and tugged her nightshirt so that she would bend down to kiss him on the lips. She took her book and curled up on the leather couch. She tried to concentrate on her book, but she kept stealing glances at Bobby. He was flipping through the pages of several books, rifling through papers, and taking notes in his leather notebook. She was used to his intense concentration when he worked on a case at home, but tonight he seemed frustrated and anxious. Finally she went up behind him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Is there anything you want to talk about Babe?"

He gently pushed her hands away and told her, "No, it's just this case. I'm fine."

She watched him for a moment, but he didn't look up at her. She moved around to the desk and slid up onto it, sitting on top of Bobby's paperwork and facing him with her legs dangling on either side of his. Bobby pushed his chair back slightly and looked up at her with an annoyed expression.

"Annie…" he warned.

Annie didn't say anything; she just folded her arms and looked at him steadily. He gave an exasperated sigh and rubbed his hand across the back of his neck. He stood up, put his hands on her waist, and gently lifted her off the desk, trying not to disturb the papers. He set her down and led her over to the couch where they sat facing one another. Bobby didn't say anything for a moment and Annie waited silently.

"It's this murder at Hudson University," he began.

"Dr. Winthrop?"

"Yes. A graduate student confessed to killing him a few days ago. He said that another professor had convinced him to do it. Unfortunately, before he could sign a confession implicating her, he went into anaphylactic shock and died. His gum had been spiked with peanut oil, which he was severely allergic to. The professor knew he would break and took care of him."

"Who was the professor?" Annie didn't expect an answer to her question because Bobby had always carefully guarded the confidentiality of his cases. She was shocked when he did answer.

"It was Professor Elizabeth Hitchens," he said. Annie watched his face for a moment, then understanding dawned.

"She was the professor you sparred with about Moby Dick," she guessed.

"Yes. We…Eames and I…well, w…we tricked the head of the department into firing her so that we could take her into custody for violating her work visa. We're letting her sit in holding tonight and we will interrogate her tomorrow. That's why I have to go in on a Saturday."

Annie wasn't sure what to say. This was more information than Bobby had ever shared with her about an open case. But he wasn't through.

"We believe that she isn't really Elizabeth Hitchens, that she killed the real Hitchens and assumed her identity. We believe that she is actually Nicole Wallace, an Australian woman who served eight years in a Thai prison as an accessory to the murders of eight men."

Annie took a deep breath as she tried to digest all the information he had given her.

"OK. So why are you so nervous about questioning her? This is what you do; you interrogate, you get into their heads, and you get a confession. Why would this be any different?"

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "This woman….usually criminals have a weakness or they make a mistake, no matter how small, that we can utilize against them. But this woman….she doesn't make mistakes. I know what she did, but I have no evidence to trip her up with. And she is very, very smart."

"Too smart for Detective Robert O. Goren of the Major Case Squad? I think not!" Annie tried teasing him out of his mood, but she could see from the look he gave her that was not going to work.

"I'm sorry, Babe, I was trying to relieve the tension—unsuccessfully it seems. You'll get her. They always have a weakness and they always make a mistake. You just haven't found hers yet. But you will."

Bobby reached over and pulled her onto his lap and held her tightly for a few minutes. She had never seen him so unsure of himself in his work before. Usually this kind of insecurity only materialized when he was with his family. Even his doubts about his parenting skills a few months ago had only surfaced during a visit from his brother. But on the job he was confident and aggressive. Until now.

Bobby sighed and gave her a squeeze. He said, "You're right. I'm probably over thinking this. You should go to bed, Babe. I'll be up soon." When Annie started to protest he added, "I promise."

She looked at him for a moment and then kissed him goodnight. She was asleep when he came to bed. He snuggled against her back and wrapped his arms around her. She stirred for a moment then drifted back to sleep.

The next day Bobby was in her thoughts as she went through her day. She stayed busy with the children, taking them to the park, baking cookies in the afternoon.

He was quiet when he came home and did not say anything about Nicole Wallace during the evening. They watched "Toy Story" with the children after dinner. Phillip and Andrew fell asleep before the end of the movie. Annie carried Phillip and Bobby carried Andrew up to their bedroom and tucked them in, then went to make sure that Ally was in bed and to tuck her in. Without saying anything, Bobby went downstairs to his office. Annie went to their bedroom and got ready for bed.

She wanted desperately to ask him about his interrogation of Nicole Wallace, but knew that he would not talk about it until he was ready. She thought that it must not have gone very well because Bobby seemed distracted. As she knelt by the side of her bed to pray, she heard him come into the room. She continued to pray silently as she heard him moving around the room and the bathroom, preparing for bed. She ended her prayer and smiled as she felt him kneel behind her and then lean against her and kiss her neck. He frequently did this and yet he never interrupted her, always waiting until she was finished before kneeling down to embrace her. She asked him once how he could know that she was done since she was praying silently. He just smiled and told her that after years of watching her, he could read her body language so well that he just knew.

With the side of her face lying against the bed, Bobby covered her hands with his and laced his fingers through hers as he continued to kiss the back of her neck, her ear, and the side of her face. Usually this progressed to making love, but tonight he stopped kissing her and rested his head against hers. He held her like that for several long minutes until Annie's back and knees began to protest and she squirmed slightly.

"I'm sorry," he said and got up. He helped Annie up and they climbed into bed. He reached for her and pulled her into his arms. Again, he made no move to make love. He just held her tightly against him. She lay in the dark with her head on his chest, listening to the familiar soft thud of his heart. She waited for him to start talking about what had happened today, but still he was silent.

Finally she kissed his chest through his tee shirt and asked, "Do you want to talk about it? How did it go today?"

He sighed. "Not well. I couldn't get her to confess. The head of the department figured out how we tricked her so she hired a lawyer and rehired 'Elizabeth Hitchens'. The lawyer showed up and got her released. Something she said before she left made me look into Hitchens background and we found out that Hitchens was being investigated for embezzling money from a foundation she chaired. Wallace killed Hitchens and stole her identity without realizing that she was a thief. That's why she came to the US and was trying to get her citizenship—so that she couldn't be deported back to Australia for the embezzlement. We went to her apartment to arrest her, but she was gone. Eames alerted the airports, but I don't think we'll find her. She's smart, really smart. She probably had something in place already in case she had to leave quickly. She could be anywhere in the US or any other country by now."

"I'm sorry Babe." She waited, but he didn't go on. "Bobby….is there something else? This isn't the first time that you've lost a suspect, and it's not the first time you've been unable to get a confession. So what's bothering you about this one?"

He kissed the top of her head. "Wallace had information about me."

"What kind of information?"

"She had my birth date and my Social Security number."

Annie sat up and looked at him. "How could she have gotten that?"

"I don't know. Maybe on the internet. But she told me that having those numbers allowed her to find out all kinds of information; my home address, my next of kin, my mother's maiden name. Annie, she knew about Carmel Ridge."

"Carmel Ridge? So she knows where your mother lives and she knows where we live? Bobby….the kids…." She was beginning to feel panicked.

Bobby sat up and took her hand. "I don't think we need to be afraid. Really I don't. She didn't threaten me or you or the kids. In fact she didn't even mention you and the kids, although she must she must know about you."

She knew that her fear was written all over her face. Bobby put his hand on her face, then reached to pull her into his arms. Bobby had always taken pains to keep his personal information from falling into the hands of criminals. Their phone was unlisted, he didn't wear a wedding ring unless he and Alex were going undercover as a married couple, and he kept pictures of Annie and the kids in his locker but not on his desk. Annie had kept her maiden name simply because she felt it was who she was and Bobby had readily agreed with her decision. Once he went into Narcotics, he was thankful that her name was one less link to him. These were realities they had lived with since he joined the NYPD. But Annie had never been afraid or concerned about retribution from any of the criminals that Bobby had dealt with—until now.

"Annie," Bobby said softly, trying to soothe her. "Nicole didn't seem to be looking for revenge. She wanted information on me so that she could play with my head. She didn't talk about you or the kids, she talked about my mother. She thought that was where I was vulnerable. She was playing a game, so I played along with her. I told her that I would tell her something true about me if she told me something true about herself."

Annie swallowed and tried to calm her racing heart. "W…what did you tell her?"

"She wanted to know how often I visit my mother. Then she wanted to know how old I was when I realized she was sick, and how I felt about it. I told her the truth about those things. I promise, Babe, she never asked about you or the kids and she never threatened anyone."

"So what did she tell you? You said she didn't confess."

"No, she didn't confess, and she didn't admit to being Nicole Wallace. But she did tell me she met 'Nicole' and that 'Nicole' told her how she felt about killing people. I was trying to get her to admit that she had been molested by her father when the lawyer showed up and whisked her away."

"She was molested by her father? How do you know that?"

"It was an educated guess, based on what I know about her dealings with men—and women. The way she uses sex to manipulate people, her lack of conscience. She denied it, but from her reaction I know I hit a nerve. I think it must have started when she was very young and I'm sure it was her father. She has a lot of rage towards men, and towards women, too, probably because her mother didn't protect her for whatever reason."

Annie interrupted him abruptly. "Does she know where the kids go to school?"

As he talked about Nicole being molested she could hear the change in his voice, could hear the empathy he had for a frightened little girl whose father was doing horrible things to her. It annoyed her because she was still scared. Her husband had just told her that a serial killer had information about their family and where they lived, yet here he was feeling sorry for that same serial killer. One of the things she had always admired and loved about her husband was his empathy. It was that empathy that helped him get into the minds of the criminals he profiled; helped him to understand what they felt and thought. While that made him an excellent profiler, at the moment his empathy for Nicole Wallace was making her angry.

"Probably. If she knows our address, it wouldn't be too hard to find out where the kids go to school."

She sat up again. "We have to move. Put the kids in private school."

"If she found this information once, don't you think she could find it again?"

"So there's nothing we can do?" Annie hated the panic that she could hear in her voice, but couldn't seem to stop it. She pulled away and got out of bed. She went to Ally's room and stood for a moment in the doorway watching her sleep, and then she went to the twins' room and checked on them. She closed and latched the windows in both rooms, making a mental note to get locks for them tomorrow. She padded downstairs in her bare feet and checked all of the doors. They were locked, of course. Bobby never forgot to lock them. She stood for a moment in the middle of the dark kitchen, listening for any sounds that shouldn't be there. She didn't hear anything, but her heart was racing all the same.

She went back upstairs to the bedroom, but she didn't close the door. She wanted to be able to hear the children. Bobby was still sitting on the bed in the dark. She stood and looked at him for a moment without saying anything.

"Everything OK? Are all the doors and windows locked?" he asked. She didn't answer, so he went on. "Aren't you glad now that I made you learn how to use a gun?"

Bobby's gun had been a source of contention between them since he joined the NYPD. Annie had a fear of guns and was not happy that there would be a gun in the house, although it would be locked up with the bullets locked in another place. He had insisted that she needed to learn how to use the gun and early in their marriage there had been many loud and passionate disagreements. She absolutely refused to have anything to do with guns, but he was just as insistent that she needed to know how to use it. They rarely fought because both were usually so eager to please the other; it was extremely unusual for either of them to dig in their heels and insist on their own way. She told him that a gun in her hands was more dangerous to herself than to anyone else because she didn't believe she could ever bring herself to shoot another human being no matter the provocation. But in this instance Bobby was unrelenting. He said that her safety was more important to him than anything. She finally gave in and went with him to a shooting range, but she was angry. She listened as he explained each part of the gun and how it worked; she learned to clean the gun, to load it, and to shoot it. As much as she hated doing it, once she agreed she did her best to learn everything he taught her. She would never be offered a job as a sniper, but she learned to shoot fairly accurately. He took her to the range once a month just to make sure she maintained the skills she had learned.

In the beginning Annie had cried every time they came home from the shooting range. Although it was a paper target, the image of the human body that she was shooting at disturbed her. She would hold it together the entire time they were at the range, but once home she would break down and cry. Sometimes she would beg him not to make her do this anymore. Although her tears had always moved his soft heart, in this he was not moved. He would hold her and whisper soothing words to her, but still he took her to the shooting range once a month. In time the tears and complaining stopped and she became resigned to this unpleasant duty every month. Bobby would take her out for tacos afterwards to try to make it up to her.

As he asked her about the shooting practice she could hear the laughter in his voice. Now her fear was turning to anger. She looked at him through narrowed eyes and put her hands on her hips.

"I'm so glad that you are finding this funny, Detective Goren. I'm glad you find it humorous that a serial killer knows where your children live and go to school. Forgive me if I can't joke about it. I seem to have lost my sense of humor. And now I think I'll sleep downstairs since I will only interfere with your comedy routine."

She turned, intending to stomp out of the room. But Bobby was out of the bed and reached the door first. He closed the door and leaned against it. He pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her. She tried to pull away, but he tightened his grip.

"Annie stop, please. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He let her pull back, but he held onto her arms. "Listen to me. If I thought there was any danger, I would get you and the kids out of town. I would send you all to your grandfather's in Connecticut, or we would move to California, or go into the Witness Protection Program. I would do whatever it took to keep all of you safe."

She looked up at him. Her anger evaporated as she looked into those brown eyes that she loved so much. She had always felt safe with him, and she realized that had not changed. She lowered her head and leaned against his chest. This time his arms around her felt comforting. He kissed the top of her head.

"Nicole doesn't seem to kill for revenge. Each one of her victims had something she needed—like the men she robbed and then watched her boyfriend kill, or Elizabeth Hitchens' identity. Or they were a direct threat to her—Mark Bayley could testify against her, Winthrop was killed to set up another professor and get him out of the way because he wouldn't have extended her work visa. And all of her victims that I know of have been adults. Harming my family just doesn't make sense. It would make more sense if she was to try to kill me, but even that wouldn't stop Eames or Deakins or Carver. She has nothing to gain by hurting me or my family. She just wanted to find a weakness that she could exploit to keep me from asking questions she didn't want to answer."

Bobby turned Annie around and led her back to bed. They got in and she settled in with her head on his chest.

"Are we OK?" he whispered against her hair.

"We're OK," she answered. She looked up at him. "I trust you Bobby."

He smiled down at her and kissed her. She laid her head back on his chest and relaxed. She was unable to sleep for a long time, thinking about Nicole Wallace. She was telling the truth, she did trust Bobby. She trusted him to put his family's safety first. But she was bothered by this fascination he seemed to have with Nicole; his empathy for her abuse and what seemed to be almost admiration for her intellect and cunning. None of this was new, really. He always enjoyed matching wits with intelligent and creative criminals; he always empathized with sad childhoods or whatever circumstances that drove them to commit their crimes, even as he took advantage of their weakness to get a confession from them.

Something was different with Nicole, though. She didn't know what it was, but the way he talked about her was definitely different from any other criminal he had talked about with Annie. She tried to pinpoint what it was, but without success. She didn't think it was sexual attraction. He hadn't mentioned whether or not Nicole was attractive, but she had never known her husband to be swayed by a pretty face. Maybe he was disturbed that she had been able to reach a vulnerable area that no other criminal had. Was he afraid of her because he had revealed so much of himself?

Annie sighed and snuggled closer. She was concerned about Bobby, but right now his feelings about Nicole were a mystery that she couldn't unravel. She just had to take comfort in the knowledge that she was gone and he would probably never cross paths with her again. Surely she wouldn't be foolish enough to show up in New York again, with the NYPD looking for her. She may have had her fun tormenting Bobby, but she wouldn't risk contacting him again. Nicole Wallace was long gone and would never return. Bobby was safe, their children were safe. Their lives would continue as before. Annie closed her eyes and finally drifted off to sleep, wrapped in her husband's strong arms.

**End Chapter 2**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

_Set during and after "The Pilgrim"_

Annie sat at the sewing machine in her bedroom, working on Halloween costumes. The children were already in bed, having tried on the costumes earlier. Bobby wasn't home yet; he had called to say he and Eames were working late. It was late and she was tired, but she wanted to finish the costumes. Halloween was in four days and she would be working two of those days. Working twelve hour shifts allowed her to only work two or three days a week and she enjoyed a flexible schedule. But on the days that she worked there was little time for anything "extra", like making costumes.

She heard the front door open and close, and then Bobby's footsteps coming up the stairs. She swiveled her chair around as he came into the bedroom and smiled at him. As tired as she was, her heart rate quickened a bit when she saw him. He was wearing her favorite dark suit and blue shirt. He had removed his tie and his shirt was open at the throat. Annie thought this was a very appealing look for him and she watched appreciatively as he crossed the room. He smiled back at her and leaned down to kiss her.

"Hi", he said softly.

"Hi yourself", she answered.

Bobby knelt down next to her chair and looked around at the material strewn on the bed and the love seat.

"Well, I see the Paine-Goren sweat shop is in full production. Shouldn't there be some little kids sweating along with you in here?"

Annie laughed. "Oh you know those pesky child labor laws. Seems I'm required to give them a thing called a 'sleep break'. I'm still waiting for the mother labor laws to be enacted."

"Just have your union rep get in touch with me; I'll see what we can work out." He smiled and kissed her again, then fingered the material on the sewing machine. "So what were the final decisions?"

"Well, here we have Miss Ally's princess costume."

"Cinderella?'

"Cinderella? Are you kidding? Have you not been here for the 5,000 viewings of Ally's 'favorite princess of all time'?"

"Oh right, 'The Princess Diaries'. How could I forget? So, Princess Mia it is. And the boys?"

"We have the ever-popular Woody from 'Toy Story' for Phillip. Andrew said he wants to be a Major Case Squad detective."

Bobby smiled with pleasure, and then ducked his head with embarrassment. Six year old Andrew wanted to be like his father more than anything in the world, and loved all things NYPD.

"So, he's wearing a suit and tie?" Bobby laughed.

"Oh, believe me, he wanted to. And a tie clip of course. But I explained that not too many people would understand that he was cop, dressed like that. I talked him into a police uniform, and told him that he would have to start out in uniform anyway. Showing him your academy picture sealed the deal."

"You look tired", he said. "You're not usually up so late." He reached up and ran his thumb across her cheek.

"Well, I wanted to get these finished tonight so that I don't have to worry about them the rest of the week. All I need to do now is finish hemming them and then I'm going to bed."

"OK, I'll be up later", he said and leaned in for a long kiss, and then got up and headed downstairs.

Annie finished the costumes and hung them up. She was sound asleep when Bobby came to bed later. When she woke up in the morning she realized that Bobby had turned off her alarm and let her sleep in. He and the children were already eating breakfast when she went down to the kitchen. She went and hugged Bobby from behind and thanked him for letting her sleep.

The children were surprisingly quiet. There were no arguments or tattling. She did not have to remind anyone to say "Please" or "Thank you". As each of them finished eating, they asked to be excused and took their plates to the sink without being asked. When Ally began rinsing food off the dishes and Phillip and Andrew began putting them in the dishwasher, she looked at Bobby and raised her eyebrows in question. He just grinned back at her and shrugged. They both sat and watched as all three children continued to clear off the table. Once the kitchen was as clean as a nine year old and two six year olds could get it, they took their places back at the table. Ally appeared to be the spokesperson for the group.

"Mommy and Daddy," she began primly. "May we have a family movie night tonight and may we pick the movie?"

Annie and Bobby looked at each other and tried not laugh. Bobby cleared his throat and said, "I think a movie night would be fine. What movie have you picked out?"

Phillip and Andrew began to giggle and Ally frowned at them.

"Shhh!" she said threateningly, and they stopped immediately. Ally turned to Bobby and said, "It's a surprise, Daddy."

"OK, we will wait and see what your surprise is. Now you three run upstairs and get ready for school. I'll drop you off on my way to work."

"OK Daddy!" they all answered as they got up and raced upstairs.

Annie began to giggle, trying not to laugh too loud. They both got up from the table; Bobby wrapped his arms around her, buried his face in her hair, and shook with silent laughter. When they both had their laughter under control Annie asked, "What do you suppose they are up to?"

"Must be big," Bobby laughed.

"Well, I think Blondie is tough, but I can probably get one of the short ones to crack. Want me to work them over after school?"

"That's OK. I'm actually looking forward to seeing what they have planned."

He went upstairs to get his tie and jacket. Phillip and Andrew came downstairs and sat quietly on the couch until Ally and Bobby came down. Annie kissed them all good bye, giggling when Bobby winked conspiratorially at her before leaving.

After school, they continued to be on their best behavior. They all did their chores without being asked, then went upstairs and did their homework. They even asked to have their baths before dinner. By the time Bobby came home, dinner was ready and the children were bathed and dressed in their pajamas. They helped clean up after dinner and then the entire family went to the living room. Bobby and Annie settled on the either end of the couch, with the twins between them. Ally put a DVD in the player and squeezed in between Phillip and Bobby, snuggling against her Daddy.

The movie came on; it was "My Dog Skip". Bobby grinned at Annie over the heads of the kids and they both mouthed the word "Dog!" So this was the conspiracy that had kept the kids busy for the last few days. They were planning another request for a dog. Annie checked to make sure she had a box of tissues close by, as she knew she couldn't watch this movie without crying.

As expected, when the movie finished Annie and Ally were both crying. But Ally quickly composed herself and all three children stood in a line in front of their parents. Each of them had a piece of paper in their hands. Ally began to read from her paper.

"Dogs have played an important role in the history of human civilization and were among the first do…..domes………domesticated animals. They were used for hunting, bodyguards, and herders. Today they are popular as pets and companions."

Andrew was next. "Dogs are very useful as guides for the blind and disabled, police dogs, and are even used in nursing homes and hospitals to help people get well."

Phillip continued the report. "Miss Archer (the twins' first-grade teacher) says that dogs are very good pets for children because they are loving and loyal. She says pets are good for children because they learn responsibility."

Annie admired her husband's restraint as he leaned forward and with no trace of laughter in his voice said, "Well you three have done a good job of researching this subject and you have presented it very well. But you know, a dog is a lot of work. They have to be fed and walked and someone has to pick up their poop."

All three children said excitedly, "We'll do all that Daddy!"

Annie added, "Puppies chew things up and they dig in the yard. They have to be trained to go potty outside and trained to behave."

Phillip said, "Aunt Janey says she has a book all about training dogs and we can borrow it."

Annie grinned at Bobby. So even her best friend was in on this. Ally sidled up to Bobby, looked up at him with big blue eyes, and said in the sweetest voice she could muster, "Please Daddy, we really, really, really want a dog. And we promise to take care of it. Please?"

Bobby smiled at her, then glanced at Annie before saying, "We aren't making any promises, but Mommy and I will talk about it."

Ally threw her arms around his neck and said, "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" The boys both jumped up and down and yelled, "Yay!"

Annie told them, "Now you three run upstairs and get ready for bed. We'll be up to tuck you in."

All three children hugged and kissed their parents and ran upstairs. Annie and Bobby couldn't contain their laughter any longer. When she could get a breath Annie said, "I told you the blond one was tough. She pulled out the big guns. 'Please Daddy'", she imitated Ally as she batted her eyelids at him. Bobby laughed and pulled her to him.

"So what do you think? Are you up for a dog?"

"I don't know. They are a lot of work. Can we think about it for a while?" she asked.

"Sure, we'll think about it."

They went up to complete the bedtime routine. They smiled at each other as they listened to each of the children ask God for a dog during their bedtime prayers. _Appealing to a higher Authority_, Annie thought with amusement.

Annie worked for the next two days. The school had a carnival on Halloween and the children were very excited about it. Bobby managed to get off work early and go with them. They had a lot of fun playing games and collecting an alarming amount of candy. They tucked three very tired children into bed that night. The boys dropped off to sleep almost as soon as their heads hit their pillows. Annie paused in Ally's doorway and listened as she sleepily talked to Bobby.

"Miss Silver at church told Mommy that Halloween is Satan's day and that she shouldn't let us dress up or give out candy or anything."

"Really? What did Mommy say?" Bobby asked.

"She said that Satan doesn't own any day 'cause God made all the days and they all belong to Him. Miss Silver had a paper and she was asking all the grown-ups to sign it and she got really mad because Mommy wouldn't sign it. I think Miss Silver is mean. But Mommy said we shouldn't be mad back at her because she loves God too and thinks she is doing what He wants."

"Well, your Mommy is pretty smart about things like that. We should probably try to do what she says. You go to sleep now, OK? 'Night Sweetheart."

"'Night Daddy."

Annie walked in and kissed Ally good night. In bed later Bobby asked, "So what was this paper that Miss Silver wanted you to sign?"

"A petition to have Pastor Ron removed."

"Why?"

Annie sighed. "It's this whole Halloween thing. A group of members, led by Miss Silver, are upset that some church members let their children dress up on Halloween and some even take their kids 'trick or treating'. They wanted Pastor Ron do give a series of sermons on the evils of Halloween and condemning anyone who does _anything_ on 'Satan's day'. You remember the church had a Harvest Festival last year? Well, they were really upset about that. Pastor Ron agreed to not have a Harvest Festival on October 31 since it was so offensive to some of our members. But he refused to make any blanket statements about what individuals should or shouldn't do about it. Miss Silver and her group were infuriated and they are trying to have him fired."

"And she's angry that you wouldn't sign her petition?"

"Right. She's also angry that I let the kids dress in costumes and go to the school carnival. I told her I respect her beliefs, but that what I choose to do is between me and God. And I let her know that there is no way I am signing a petition to have our pastor fired. She didn't like that much. She said that maybe it's time to start having people 'removed' from membership."

Bobby was lying on his side, propped up on his elbow. He reached over and ran the fingers of his free hand through her hair.

"This isn't the first time some group in your church has gotten upset and passed around petitions like that. Why do you put up with it? Why not leave and find a different church?"

Annie laughed. "Do you know a church that doesn't have any problems or controversy? I'm betting that if there is such a church, it is so rigid that differing opinions aren't allowed. 'My way or the highway'. I have a feeling I wouldn't fit in very well. No, as long as human beings make up the membership of a church, there are going to be differences and sometimes fighting."

"So why go at all? Why not just stay home? You do all the same things at home that you do at church; you read your Bible, you pray, you sing."

"Because church is about more than those things. It's about relationships. This church is my family. You and I don't agree on everything, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be with you."

"But I don't berate you or threaten to throw you out for having different opinions. People like Miss Silver and her bunch think they speak for God and they do hurtful things in His name. Just like that man who killed the abortion doctor last year. They think that God approves of anything they do because they are 'right'."

Annie sighed and snuggled up against him. "Well, I don't think Miss Silver is buying a high-powered rifle", she chuckled. Then, more seriously, "If I were to leave, then people like Miss Silver win. The more they succeed at intimidating people into following them or leaving, the more outrageous their demands become. All I can do is try to love her because God loves her, respect her beliefs, and refuse to be swayed by threats."

Bobby rolled onto his back and pulled Annie on top of him. Annie smiled down at him and threaded her fingers through his hair. She thought again how much she loved his dark brown curls, his intense brown eyes that seemed to be able to look into her mind and read her thoughts, his slightly pug nose, and those lips that fit her mouth so perfectly. She began to gently kiss his eyes, his nose, his ears, his neck, and then moved to a long, probing kiss on the mouth. As his hands slipped under her nightshirt and began exploring she thought, _Oh yes, his hands. I do love his beautiful hands,_

For the next ten days, Bobby was increasingly distracted. Annie assumed it was a case he was working on. He told her it had to do with a possible terrorist threat, but didn't elaborate. For three days he didn't come home at all, taking short naps at One Police Plaza. He called each night and talked to her and kids briefly, but still he didn't go into detail about what was keeping him away from home. The day before Veteran's Day, he came home to shower and get fresh clothes. He spent a few minutes with the kids, but said he couldn't stay. Annie walked him out to the car when he left. He leaned against the car and pulled her into an embrace. After a kiss, Bobby got in his car drove off. Annie stood and watched until his car turned onto another street. Later that night he called Annie.

"I need you to do something for me," Bobby told her.

"OK, what is it?"

"I…I need for you and the kids to stay away from the parade tomorrow."

"But we always go to the Veteran's Day parade! The kids have their red, white, and blue clothes all picked out. They have their flags. Why can't we go?"

Bobby sighed. "I can't tell you right now. But please tell me you will keep the kids away from downtown tomorrow."

Annie started to argue, but the worry she heard in his voice stopped her.

"OK, we won't go. But I don't know how to explain it to the kids; they'll be so disappointed. We'll just watch it on TV."

"No, don't do that either. Go to the park or something. You can watch the parade on TV later if…if…well, you can watch it later."

A familiar tingle of fear ran through her as Annie was reminded once again of how dangerous her husband's job was at times.

"Bobby…" She didn't know what to say. She wanted to beg him not to do whatever it was he and Alex had planned. She was silent, struggling to keep her fear for him in check.

"It's going to be OK, Babe. I promise", he said softly. The logical part of Annie's brain told her that he could not possibly control every event and know for certain that he would be OK. But she knew that all she could do was trust him and pray for him. She said a silent prayer for protection.

As expected, the children were disappointed the next day that they couldn't go to the parade and they protested loudly. Annie put together a picnic lunch and took them to the park. They wore their "patriotic clothes", and after a while they stopped pouting and began to have fun. She wasn't sure how long to stay at the park. Obviously Bobby was concerned about something happening at the parade, so she wasn't sure what she would find on the news when she got home. The kids were having fun, so she wasn't in any hurry. As she sat on the blanket reading a book, while keeping one eye on the kids, her cell phone rang. The display showed Bobby's name.

"Bobby? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Babe, I'm fine. Where are you?"

"We're at the park."

"So you haven't seen the news yet?"

"No, what happened?"

She heard Bobby sigh on the other end of the line,

"There was an attempted suicide bomber at the parade. He was targeting Desert Storm veterans."

"Attempted? So you stopped him? And you're OK? What about Alex?" Annie asked anxiously.

"I'm fine, Eames is fine. We were able to stop the guy without setting off the bomb. It's over and everything is OK. I'll probably be home late, though. I've got to finish some paperwork."

"I love you", she said softly.

"I love you too. I'll see you at home later."

They hung up and Annie offered up a prayer of gratitude. They stayed in the park until late afternoon, when the kids finally seemed to be tiring. When they went home, she didn't turn the news on until the kids were in bed and asleep. Then she sat on the couch watching the news reports of the attempted suicide bomber.

The reports identified the would-be bomber as Jorge Galvez. They also identified Detectives Robert Goren and Alex Eames from the Major Case Squad as having worked with the FBI to identify and track down Galvez. Detective Goren had physically restrained Galvez before he could trigger the bomb, and Galvez was shot and killed by Sergeant Johnson with the NYPD SWAT team. Detective Goren was wounded when Galvez bit his arm during the struggle. He was treated at a hospital and released.

She was still watching the news reports over and over when she heard Bobby's key in the door. She jumped up and threw herself into his arms as he was closing the door. She caught him off guard and he stumbled back against the door. Annie saw him flinch as his left arm hit the door.

"I'm so sorry," Annie exclaimed. "Are you OK? Let me see your arm."

Bobby wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, leaning back against the door.

"I'm fine, Babe. My arm is fine. He broke the skin, but it's not deep. They cleaned it and put a bandage on it at the hospital, and they gave me an antibiotic and a tetanus shot. I'm OK. Actually, my head hurts more than my arm does. I had to head-butt him and I had quite a headache. But they gave me something at the hospital and its better."

She relaxed against him and held him tightly. After a few moments Bobby kissed the top of her head and said, "Let's go to bed, Babe. I'm tired."

Annie turned off the TV and they went upstairs. She watched as he undressed and changed into a tee-shirt and boxers. Her heart lurched a bit at the sight of the bandage on his left arm. She went over to look at it. She hated to disturb the bandage since it was clean and dry, but she very much wanted to see his arm for herself. He sat on the side of the bed and quietly let her examine his arm.

She carefully pulled back the top of the bandage, but didn't pull it completely off. She looked at the bite marks under the bandage. He was right, it had broken the skin but wasn't deep. The skin around the bite marks was red. The wound was clean and antibiotic ointment had been applied. She patted the tape around the bandage back into place. She placed a kiss on top of the bandage and then on his forehead.

"Does it hurt," she asked.

"Not too much. And it should stop completely now. The kids tell me Mommy has magic kisses that make boo-boos stop hurting."

He smiled at her and they got into bed. Because it was too uncomfortable for him to put his left arm around her as he usually did, Bobby lay on his right side and Annie snuggled up against his back. Lying in the dark, Bobby told her about the events of the last several days and their discovery that a Muslim terrorist was planning to set off a suicide bomb in the middle of Desert Storm veterans at the parade. He told her about his fight with the man, Eames attempt to get off a shot during the struggle, and the Sergeant who shot the man in the head.

"They planned on two suicide bombers, but we caught one of them. He was this young guy, trying to connect with God, but conflicted about killing in God's name. But in spite of his doubts about his mission, he wouldn't give up the other bomber. He said that whatever happens is 'God's will'."

"You could have been killed," Annie whispered with her face against his broad back.

"But I wasn't", he said softly.

They lay quietly for several minutes and then Bobby said, "Those would-be suicide bombers aren't so different from Miss Silver and her group at your church."

Annie rose up and propped herself on her elbow and peered at him in the dark.

"You think Miss Silver is going to blow herself up at church?" she asked incredulously.

Bobby chuckled at the image that conjured in his mind.

"No, I don't think she's going to bomb the church. But her motives aren't all that different from Ethan Edwards' and Jorge Galvez' motives. They believe that they know what God wants and that He wants them to make everyone else believe as they do by whatever means they have to. Miss Silver may not resort to violence, but she uses intimidation to try to force everyone else to do what she believes God wants. That's the definition of a terrorist; to coerce others into submitting to your will by threat of harm. Doesn't have to be physical harm."

"Hmm…." Annie didn't very much like Bobby comparing her fellow church member to a suicide bomber, but she couldn't argue with his logic. "I guess that's the danger of fanaticism, and it's not limited to any one religion. Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, Hindu….I suppose that any time you begin to think that you speak for God, rather than letting Him speak for himself, you run the risk of putting yourself in God's place to judge others."

"Frank called me yesterday", Bobby abruptly changed the subject. "He needs money."

"What for this time?"

"Gambling debt, what else? He owes a guy some money. I told him I couldn't give him any this time."

"That must have been hard", she said softly. "How did he take it?'

"He was mad. Really mad. Called me some names, said he's sorry we're brothers. I don't know, Annie. Is it the right thing to do?"

She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Looks like we have another terrorist."

He turned his head slightly to look at her. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you just told me that a terrorist is someone who 'tries to coerce other people to submit to his will by threat of harm.' That sounds like your big brother to me."

"And how is he threatening harm?"

Annie scooted up so that she could lay her cheek next to his.

"Oh, my love, the threat that has struck the most terror into your heart since you were a little boy. The threat that someone you love will withhold their love unless you do what you are 'supposed' to do."

Bobby was silent, so Annie continued. "The answer to your question is; Yes, I think you are doing the right thing. He will never have any incentive to change as long as you keep bailing him out. He'll be mad and there is the risk that he might actually never speak to you again. But somehow I doubt that will happen."

Bobby didn't answer, but he laced his fingers through hers and squeezed. Annie settled in against his back once more and the thought occurred to her that they hadn't heard the last of Frank. He must be infuriated at Bobby for refusing to help him; this was a first and she doubted that he would take it lying down. She prayed she was wrong. As unreasonable as it was, Bobby already felt guilty that he could not make his mother and his brother whole and healthy. She drifted off to sleep with her arms protectively around her husband.

**End Chapter 3**


	4. Chapter 4

REBUILDING

**REBUILDING**

**Chapter 4**

_Thanks again to my sister, a retired Sheriff's sergeant, for information on drug possession penalties and "cop culture"._

Annie threw away the remnants of her lunch, marked her place in the book she was reading, and prepared to go back to work. She had eaten lunch in the cafeteria because she wanted to get as far away from the ER as she could, but it was too cold to eat outside. It had been a busy morning and she suspected it would not slow down during the afternoon. She walked back to the break room and put her book and her wallet in her locker, then walked into the ER.

"Annie! Glad you're back", said June, the shift supervisor. "EMTs brought in a John Doe, probably homeless. He's unconscious, looks like he was beaten pretty badly. The EMTs couldn't get an IV started in the field and I wasn't able to get one in. Dr. Silva is chomping at the bit to have one of his interns do a cut-down, but I talked him into letting you try first. He's in Trauma 3."

In a busy teaching hospital, residents and interns were always looking for reasons to do new procedures. And what could be better than an unconscious homeless man? No one to protest or care. While Annie knew the importance of experience for the doctors, she felt that sometimes they were a little too eager and sometimes unnecessary procedures were done. This was a perfect example. A "cut-down"—inserting a central venous catheter into a vein through a surgical incision in the chest or neck was a procedure usually only done when a patient would need intravenous fluids or medications over a long period of time. But if a short-term IV could not be inserted with a needle, the doctors would insert a central line. It was a popular procedure for the residents and interns. Annie and the other nurses tried to prevent unnecessary procedures when they could. If one nurse was unable to get an IV started, she or he would ask at least one other nurse to try before turning the eager interns loose. Annie was rather proud of the fact that she had a reputation for being able to successfully start IVs on the most difficult patients, including IV drug users who had worn out their veins.

As Annie entered Trauma 3 she said a silent prayer that she would be successful. The man was lying on the gurney, still unconscious. Dr. Silva was there, with a new intern. He was instructing the intern on how to set up for a cut-down, normally a nurse's duty but Dr. Silva wanted his interns to be familiar with where supplies were kept. Annie approached the gurney, looking at the man's arms to evaluate his veins, before looking at his face. When she did look at his face, she gasped out loud. His face was so badly beaten that it took a moment to register in Annie's brain that this was no John Doe. It was her brother-in-law, Frank Goren.

His face was almost unrecognizable. It was covered with cuts and bruises. There was a deep cut just above his left eye and the eye was swollen shut. His right eye was black and blue. His bottom lip was split and swollen. She saw at least three cuts on his face alone that would need sutures. The EMTs had applied a splint to his left arm because it was broken; it would need to be X-rayed to determine how badly. Because of the head injuries they had put a collar around his neck to keep his head stable in case his spine was injured. His shirt was open and Annie could see that his chest and stomach were one huge mass of bruises and cuts. The force that would cause that kind of bruising likely also broke some ribs, something else that would need to be X-rayed.

"What's wrong, Annie?" asked Dr. Silva. "Are you going to try to get an IV in or just let us work?"

Annie dragged her eyes away from Frank's injuries and looked at the two doctors waiting on her.

"I…I'm going to try the IV", she said. She mentally shook herself and tried to forget that this was her brother-in-law, tried to forget the phone call she was going to have to make to her husband, tried not to think about how upset he was going to be. Since his left arm was in a splint, she focused on his right arm. She could see where June had already tried a couple times to insert an IV. She felt along his arm and his hand, trying to feel for a good vein. She finally thought she felt one just above his wrist. She put her gloves on, cleaned the area, and inserted the needle. It took a moment of backing out slightly and moving it around before she felt the little "pop" of the needle sliding into the vein. She pulled the needle out, leaving the plastic catheter in the vein, and taped it in place. Since they needed to send blood to the lab for tests, she used a syringe to withdraw the blood and inject it into several tubes. Then she attached tubing from a bag of IV solution to the IV catheter.

Dr. Silva and his intern looked disappointed and the intern began putting away his supplies. Dr. Silva began giving orders for X-rays, CT scan, and lab work. There was a knock on the door and they looked up to see two detectives standing in the doorway. Annie knew Detectives Briscoe and Green. The hospital was within the 27th precinct where they worked and she had met them on numerous occasions. But she also knew them because they were the detectives who worked the case when Annie was attacked and stabbed last year. She smiled and waved them in.

"Lennie, Ed. What brings you here today?" she asked.

Lennie gestured towards Frank. "Your John Doe here. The unis called us because it looked to be a violent crime. So what do you have?"

Dr. Silva explained what they knew so far, but that they had quite a few tests to run.

"One more thing", Annie said when Dr. Silva finished. "He isn't a John Doe. I know who he is. His name is Frank Goren."

Lennie and Ed both looked at her in surprise. Although Annie's last name was Paine, they knew very well who her husband was.

Ed cleared his throat. "Any relation to your husband, Annie?"

"His brother."

"So…uh…any idea who might have done this to him?" asked Lennie.

"Well," Annie sighed, "I don't know any names. But a few weeks ago Frank called Bobby to ask him for money. He said he owed his bookie and couldn't pay him. Bobby told him he couldn't give him any more money. He was pretty upset, but we haven't heard from him since. Maybe the bookie sent someone to collect, or maybe he owed someone money for drugs. Frank is addicted to gambling and to drugs, so I wouldn't be surprised if it has something to do with one of those things."

Lennie and Ed exchanged a look and Lennie asked, "Does Goren know he's here?"

"No, I only found out just before you got here. I haven't had a chance to call him yet. I'll call him as soon as we get Frank ready to go up for his tests. I need to get him into a gown."

"OK, well…we should put his clothing in an evidence bag just in case we can get anything from them to help find who did this. Is it alright if I stay?" asked Ed.

Annie nodded and Ed got some evidence bags ready as Lennie stepped out of the room. Annie realized that she could not undress her own brother-in-law so she asked the intern, Dr. Allen, to help her. Dr. Silva told her to let him know when the tests were done and if Frank regained consciousness, then he left. Annie and the intern changed into clean gloves and pulled Frank's shirt off. She winced as she saw that the injuries covered his stomach and his back. She dropped his shirt into the evidence bag that Ed was holding, and put his arms through the hospital gown. They pulled Frank's shoes and socks off and they went into another bag. With the gown covering him, Annie rolled Frank towards her as Dr. Allen pulled his pants and underwear down. As he did, a plastic bag fell onto the gurney. Annie reached over and picked up a small sandwich bag. Inside the bag was a white powder. She held the bag up to show Ed.

"Damn," he swore softly.

"Yeah," Annie agreed.

All three of them stood looking at the baggie in Annie's hand for a moment. Then Ed cleared his throat, looked over at the door, then glanced at Dr. Allen.

"Has he ever been arrested for drugs before?" Ed asked.

"Not that I know of."

"Annie," Ed said softly. "His brother's a cop. If you want….this doesn't…this doesn't have to go beyond this room. That bag can just disappear."

Dr. Allen told her, "I haven't seen a thing."

Annie stood for a moment, undecided. She looked at the bag in her hand, and then turned to look down at Frank. She looked at his injuries and thought about the many times he had asked Bobby for money, the times he had shown up at their home or at Carmel Ridge under the influence of drugs, the promises to get into a program. She took a deep breath and turned back to Ed.

"Detective Green, I think you are going to want another evidence bag for this," she said firmly.

Ed nodded silently and held out a bag. He labeled the bags and went to join Lennie. Dr. Allen left and an orderly came to take Frank upstairs for X-rays and CT scan. Annie told her supervisor that she needed to call her husband and went to the break room. She called Bobby's cell phone, but it went to voice mail. She left a message for him to call her. She called his extension at One Police Plaza and got his voice mail again. She left another message. She called One Police Plaza again and asked for Captain Deakins in the Major Case Squad. He told her that Bobby and Alex were in court all day. She explained about Frank and he said that he would get word to Bobby.

The orderly brought Frank back to Trauma Three. He was beginning to regain consciousness. Annie spoke to him and explained where he was. He didn't remember anything from the entire day, which was not unusual with a head injury. Dr. Silva and Dr. Allen came back in. They put a cast on his left arm and sutured the three deepest cuts on his face. He had three fractured ribs. The CT scan showed a skull fracture. There was a small amount of bleeding, but Dr. Silva felt it would resolve. He wanted to admit Frank to the hospital overnight and repeat the CT scan in the morning to make sure the bleeding wasn't getting worse. Under Dr. Silva's supervision, Dr. Allen ordered pain medicine and Annie gave Frank some through his IV. While she waited for it to take effect, she went out to tell Detectives Briscoe and Green that they could come in and talk to him.

They asked Frank if he knew who had attacked him and he said he didn't remember. They asked him several questions, but he just said that the last thing he remembered was eating dinner the night before. Annie noticed that neither of them mentioned the drugs. She had expected them arrest him, but instead they both closed their notebooks.

Lennie said, "Well, I think that's all we need for now. We…uh…we're going to wait around a bit and talk to your brother when he gets here."

"Why do you need to talk to my brother?" asked Frank.

"Just some details we need to go over with him", Lennie answered. Ed and Lennie both glanced at Annie.

"What's going on here?" Annie asked. "Why aren't you arresting him for possession? Why do you need to talk to Bobby?"

"Arrest me? I got the crap beat out of me. Why would they arrest me?" Frank asked incredulously.

"Because", Annie answered him, "when Dr. Allen and I were getting you out of your clothes and into that patient gown, a bag of drugs fell out of your underwear. I gave it to Detective Green here, and I am curious as to why he wants to talk to Bobby and why he hasn't arrested you."

"Arrest me?" Frank yelled, angry now. "You turn in your own brother-in-law and now you're mad that I haven't been arrested yet?" His voice rose in volume as a string of curse words poured out.

Ed Green stepped forward and told him firmly, "Hey man, you're going to calm down and shut your mouth. Both of you just calm down and we'll see what we can do to work this out."

Annie opened her mouth to argue, but Lennie cut her off. "Annie, there are things here that you don't understand because you aren't a cop. Just wait for us to talk to Goren."

Annie glared at them, then turned and strode angrily from the room. Both detectives followed her. She saw Bobby entering the waiting room and she went to get him. She led him back to where Frank was, explaining about his injuries. He greeted Ed and Lennie, then looked quizzically at Annie as she pointedly ignored them. She saw him wince as he entered the room and saw Frank's battered face. Frank immediately launched into a tirade about Annie.

"Your wife is trying to get me thrown in jail, Bobby! She found drugs on me while I was unconscious—drugs that I don't even remember having. They could have been planted on me for all anyone knows. But Annie here turns them over to the police and then demands that they arrest me."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa", Bobby said, holding his hands up. "Slow down. You found drugs on him?" he asked Annie.

She nodded. "Yes, and I gave them to Ed Green. Now he and Lennie want to talk to you."

Frank started to speak, but Bobby cut him off.

"Hold it, Frank. Just let me talk to the detectives and see what they have to say. We'll see what we can do about this."

Frank silently glared at Annie as she and Bobby left the room. She led Bobby, Ed, and Lennie to the break room.

Ed spoke first. "Look man, Lennie and I, we don't want to arrest your brother. Like I told……" he stopped and glanced at Annie, then started again. "There isn't that much cocaine, but it's enough for a felony charge. But it doesn't have to be. It can just disappear."

Annie's eyes widened. "And as I told you, Detective, that won't be necessary. Frank needs to face up to this."

Bobby looked at her in surprise. "You mean he already told you that this could disappear and you insisted that they arrest him? Annie, this is my brother. Look at the shape he's in! The last thing he needs is jail."

"I've seen him, Bobby. I've been here all afternoon helping to put him back together. But the reason he's in this shape is because of his addictions. He needs a serious wake-up call, and some time in jail just might do that."

Lennie put a comforting hand on her shoulder and said, "Annie, I know you want your brother-in-law to get some help. But you don't know what it's like for a cop, or a family member of a cop, in the system. These cases get more publicity and judges hand down tougher sentences. This is his first offense. Someone has already beaten him to a pulp. It's better if you handle it in the family."

"This isn't his first offense. It's the first time he's been caught. And 'the family' has been trying to 'handle' this for over twenty years. It's time for him for him to face some serious consequences."

"I'm not sending him to jail, Annie", Bobby told her firmly. "If word gets out that he's related to a cop, he's going to look like he does now for the entire time he's in there." He turned to Ed and Lennie and told them, "I appreciate your help."

They both nodded at him and all three men moved to walk out of the room.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Annie moved in front of the door and looked at them incredulously. She had heard of "the thin blue line" and "the blue wall", but had never expected to have to face it herself. "You can't be serious! What you are talking about is destroying evidence. And may I remind you that there are two witnesses? Dr. Allen and I both saw those drugs."

"Evidence disappears all the time", Lennie told her with a shrug. "Without the drugs, there is no case."

"Annie…." Bobby started towards her and she put up a hand and he stopped. She was feeling particularly small, at 5'5", standing in that room with three six foot plus men towering over her. But she put her hands on her hips and refused to move.

"You cannot do this, Bobby,"

Bobby looked at Ed and Lennie. Ed told him, "It's your call, man." Lennie nodded in agreement.

"Annie, he's my brother", Bobby said softly.

"And your brother needs help, not a cover-up. If I have to….I…I will go to the DA, to Captain Deakins, and to their superior."

Ed and Lennie stood silently and waited for Bobby's answer. He paced the room in frustration, rubbing his hand through his hair and across the back of his neck. Suddenly his fist crashed down on the table and he yelled, "Goddammit!" Annie jumped at the sound, but stood where she was, hands still on her hips.

Bobby turned to her angrily. "Alright! Have it your way!" He turned to Ed and Lennie. "Go ahead and arrest him for possession." He turned back to Annie and told her. "I'm going to pay off his bookie."

"Pay off his bookie? Instead of _arresting _his bookie, you mean? That's just great, Bobby. How much does he owe?"

"Two thousand dollars."

"Two thousand dollars?! Are you crazy? We are not going…." Bobby interrupted her.

"Isn't it enough he's going to jail?!" Bobby was yelling. "I'm not going to sit back and watch him get beaten like this again. I am going to pay off his bookie." This time he put his hand up to silence her as she opened her mouth to protest. He continued in a low, furious voice. "I am not asking for your permission, Annie, or for your opinion. I'm _telling _you what I am going to do."

An angry retort rose up in her, but she kept silent. She realized they were both angry enough to say things that they would be unable to take back. There was silence in the room for a moment. She could feel Ed's and Lennie's discomfort at being caught in the middle of their fight. Finally she stepped away from the door without saying anything. Bobby stalked out without looking at her, followed by Ed and Lennie. They went to Trauma Three, Annie following silently behind the three men.

Lennie said, "Frank Goren, you are under arrest for felony possession of a controlled substance…." He began reading Frank his rights as Ed snapped a handcuff to Frank's right wrist and snapped the other one to the railing of the gurney. Frank shot a panicked look at Bobby.

"Bobby, what's going on? I thought you were going to take care of this!"

With his anger tightly controlled, but evident by the slight quiver in his voice, Bobby told him, "I'll tell you what's going on, Frank. You are being arrested for drug possession. And this is what you are going to do about it: You are going to plead guilty and take whatever deal the DA offers, and pray that it involves rehab and not prison. And as soon as you are booked and I pay your bail, you are going to take me to your bookie so that I can pay him off and make sure his goons don't come after you again."

Frank exploded. "Prison?! You've got to be kidding me! This is how you 'take care of this'?!" He pointed at Annie as he continued yelling. "What the hell did you tell him? How'd you get him to agree to this? This must be the happiest day of your life, seeing me go to jail. Unless the happiest day was the day you talked him into sticking our mother in a looney bin. Having us both locked up must be a dream come true for you, you fu…."

He was cut off as Bobby grabbed his gown in both fists and shoved him back against the gurney. Frank cried out as Bobby's knuckles came into contact with his already bruised chest. Bobby's voice was low as he brought his face within inches of Frank's now frightened face.

"You will _never_ speak to my wife like that again. Do you understand? Do you?" he repeated as he gave Frank another shake.

Frank nodded his head wordlessly. Annie slipped out of the room as Dr. Silva and Dr. Allen entered. She left them to work out the details of Frank's arrest and medical care. Her shift would be over soon, and she had spent most of the afternoon dealing with only one patient—her brother-in-law. She went to see where she was needed.

She was coming out of a patient room as Ed and Lennie were leaving. She went over and shook their hands.

"I'm sorry for dragging you into this mess."

Lennie put a fatherly arm around her shoulders and told her, "I've got news for you, Annie. No one caved back there because of your threats. You can talk to the DA or to Lieutenant Van Buren all you want. If Goren wanted us to make that coke disappear, it would have disappeared. He had some other reason for going along with you. You and your husband will work this out. I've gotta believe there are a couple of good marriages out there", he laughed.

Ed told her that because Frank needed to have another CT scan in the morning, he would be staying in the hospital with a couple of uniformed officers to guard him. Once he was released from the hospital he would be taken to the precinct and booked.

"We told Frank to call us if he remembers anything about the people who did this to him that he would like to share", Ed told her.

"Why don't you just follow my husband when he goes to pay Frank's bookie two thousand dollars of our hard-earned cash", she replied in a sulky voice.

Both men laughed and Lennie gave her shoulder another squeeze. After they left, Annie went to give report to the next shift. When she was done, she looked for Bobby. She was told that Frank had been admitted to a room upstairs and that his brother was with him. She went up to his room and found two uniformed officers standing outside the room. She recognized Officers Johna Jones and Harlana Simmons. They were regulars in the ER, bringing in suspects who got hurt resisting arrest or interviewing victims of various crimes. She greeted them and they told her that Bobby was in the room with Frank. Annie asked if one of them would tell him that she was there. She knew Frank didn't want to see her and she didn't want a repeat of what had happened earlier.

Bobby came out and walked down the hallway with her. He said nothing and waited for her to speak. But she didn't know what to say.

"Bobby, I…."she faltered and then fell silent.

Finally Bobby spoke. "I'm going to stay here with Frank tonight. If they release him tomorrow, I'll go with him to be booked and post bail, and then take him back to his place. He's probably going to need someone to stay with him for a few days because of his head injury."

"You're going to stay with him?"

"Yeah, at least for a few days."

"OK." Annie was trying not to think that he wanted time away from her because he was so angry. "Well…..I should go home then. Do you want me to bring you anything? Dinner? A change of clothes?"

"No thanks. I'll be fine. I'll call the kids later and tell them good night."

"OK", she said again. She looked up at him and tried again. "I…um….we need to talk."

"I know, but not now. We'll talk at home." Bobby leaned over and kissed her quickly on the cheek. She watched as he turned and walked away.

"Now that man knows how to walk away", said a voice beside her. She turned to see Abby Ryan, one of the few nurses who had been at the hospital longer than Annie. At 5'2" and with her red hair, Abby was known as a no-nonsense nurse who took no lip from patients or doctors. She was also known as one of the best nurses around and the residents and interns all tried to have their patients assigned to her. And she had an irreverent, and somewhat bawdy, sense of humor.

Annie smiled at her and said, "That _is_ my husband you're talking about, you know."

"Oh I know, you lucky, lucky girl!"

Annie laughed and asked, "Are you Frank's nurse tonight?"

"Yes I am. And with that hunky brother of his staying all night, I think I am just going to have to be checking in on Mr. Goren a lot tonight."

Annie laughed again.

"I think I'm afraid to leave my husband here all night."

"Oh I promise, I won't touch; I'll just look." Abby's tone turned serious. "You know, the rumor mill around this place works overtime."

"And what does the rumor mill have to say?"

"Well, it seems a certain ER nurse was locked in the ER break room for quite a while today with three tall, handsome police detectives. There was a lot of yelling going on. Got people curious. Then they all come out of the break room, go into a room with a patient, where more yelling was heard."

Annie sighed. "I don't seem to be very popular with the Goren boys today."

"You know, if it had been any other nurse taking care of Frank in there, that bag of drugs would have just disappeared. What were you thinking, honey?"

"I was thinking that maybe if Frank goes to jail for a while, he'll get serious about his life and stop wasting it on drugs and gambling. Obviously, I'm in the minority."

Abby gave her a hug. "You gotta do what you think is right, no matter how mad tall, dark, and handsome in there gets. It'll all blow over. Now run along home to your babies and let me get on with admiring your husband."

Annie laughed and hugged her back. She did as Abby suggested and went home to her babies. She explained to the kids that Uncle Frank was hurt but he would be OK and that Daddy was spending the night at the hospital with him. Bobby called and talked to the kids. With Annie, his conversation was brief and neutral. She fell into a restless sleep. Although she was often in bed alone, since Bobby liked to stay up late reading, somehow the bed seemed emptier than it ever had.

**End Chapter 4**


	5. Chapter 5

REBUILDING

**REBUILDING**

**Chapter 5**

The next morning Annie went in to work early so that she could check on Frank. She found Abby in the hallway talking to Officers Johna and Harlana. Annie smiled at the sight of Johna and Harlana. They couldn't be more different in appearance. Johna was not much over five feet tall, blond, blue-eyed, and fair-skinned. Harlana was a good six inches taller, brunette, brown-eyed, and her skin was about three shades darker. But they had been partners for years and made a good team. The three women were laughing and Annie suspected they were talking about her husband. This was confirmed when they caught sight of Annie and the laughter increased.

"What are you three up to?" she asked.

"Oh just discussing how to get it spread around the NYPD that we spent the night with the great Bobby Goren", laughed Johna.

"Not you too," Annie moaned. "Bad enough I left him with Nurse Hotpants here."

"Oh not to worry," said Harlana. "We kept an eye on her every time she went in there. We protected your husband's honor. She did ask to borrow my handcuffs, though."

All four women laughed. Annie suspected that none of them would be talking like this if Bobby were within hearing, so she thought he must have stepped away.

"Where _is_ my husband? Hiding from you three?"

Johna replied, "He went down to the cafeteria to get something to eat. He didn't want to, but he didn't eat anything last night and we all kinda ganged up on him and made him leave."

"So….how is Frank?" she asked.

Abby replied, "In a lot of pain. I've been giving him Morphine and he's been able to sleep. They'll come and get him this morning for another CT scan. If there's no more bleeding, he'll be released."

"And he'll go straight to the precinct to be booked," said Harlana.

Annie sighed. "Thanks guys. I'm going to see if I can find Bobby."

She went down to the cafeteria and saw him sitting at a table with his hands around a coffee cup, a partially-eaten breakfast had been pushed to the side. His clothes were rumpled and his hair was mussed, and she saw the tired lines on his face. Annie sat down across from him.

"You didn't eat very much," she said.

"Hospital food," he replied without looking up.

Actually, the food served in the cafeteria was very good. She supposed blaming his lack of appetite on the food was easier than discussing the real reason.

"I brought you a change of clothes. They are in Frank's room, and you can take a shower in the doctor's lounge."

"You went in Frank's room?"

"No, I gave your clothes to the officers", she said softly. "I have to go to work." She got up and walked away.

Annie heard later in the day that Frank's CT scan had shown no further bleeding and he had been released. She thought Bobby would stop by to see her before he left with Frank for the precinct. But he didn't.

He called that night after she got home from work. He talked to the kids and then had a brief conversation with Annie. He told her that after Frank was booked, he bailed him out and took him to his apartment.

"I took care of his bookie, and then I called Ron Carver and asked him to handle Frank's case. And I got the name of a lawyer from him. We have an appointment tomorrow."

Annie snapped, "You're hiring him a lawyer? Why? A public defender can work out a deal for him, especially if your buddy Carver is going to hand him one on a silver platter."

Bobby was silent for a moment. "I need to go. It's time for Frank's medication."

"Fine. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

The next day Bobby went to the house while Annie was at work and packed some things to take to Frank's. He called each night to talk to the children. He and Annie didn't argue any more, but their conversations were brief and only concerned the children or necessary information about work or the house. She knew that he had returned to work, leaving Frank alone during the day. But he checked in on him frequently.

Ron Carver and Frank's lawyer worked out a plea bargain in which Frank would spend one year in a residential rehab facility. If he successfully completed the program, at the end of one year the felony charge would be reduced to a misdemeanor. If he left the facility or did not complete the program, the felony charge would be reinstated and he would be subject to a sentence of one to five years. He was scheduled to enter the facility on December 2. Bobby was taking care of giving his notice at his apartment and putting his few belongings in storage.

Bobby called his mother every night, as he usually did, but he hadn't told her anything about Frank and asked Annie not to tell her either. He said that he wanted to talk to her in person. Frank refused to go see her because he didn't want her to see his injuries. The weekend before Frank was to enter rehab, Bobby picked Annie up to go to Carmel Ridge. He had asked her to leave the children with a babysitter because he didn't want them there when he talked to his mother. Annie had made arrangements with a teenage girl down the street who babysat for them frequently. The ride to Carmel Ridge was quiet, neither of them saying much.

Neither of them said anything to Frances when they first arrived. They sat and visited, talking about the children mostly. Over the years it had become a routine for Annie to give Frances a manicure while they exchanged gossip; Frances about the patients and staff at the facility, Annie about her coworkers. The three of them played card games for a while. Bobby waited until shortly before it was time to leave before bringing up Frank.

"Mom," he began. "I need to tell you about what's going on with Frank. He…uh…he was arrested for drug possession," he said, leaving out the part about the bookie and the beating. "The DA made a plea bargain with him and he's going into a residential treatment facility rather than going to jail."

Frances blinked and tried to digest this information. "Residential facility? You mean a locked facility like this?"

"No, it's not locked. But he does need permission to leave, and he has to earn permission for anything like that."

"How long will he be there?"

"A year."

"A year?! A whole year?! And he won't be able to come and see me for a year?"

"No he won't. Even if he earns passes later on, he probably can't leave the city. But he will be able to call you, as long as he doesn't lose his phone privileges."

"And where is he now? Is he going to come and see me before he goes away?"

"No," Bobby told her. "He…uh…he had too much to do to get ready to go. He's going in Monday and he won't be able to come and see you first. But I'll make sure he calls you before he goes."

Frances' eyes narrowed as she looked at Bobby. "He's going away for a whole year and he has 'too much to do' to come and see me? I don't believe you." Her voice rose as she pointed an accusing finger at Bobby. "This is your doing, isn't it? You won't let him come and see me. You want to keep him away from me. You're a cop, why didn't you do something to help him stay out of that place? Because you _wanted _him to be locked up, didn't you?"

Bobby's voice was conciliatory. "Mom, that's not true. I did what I could for him, but it was either this facility or jail for a year or more."

Now Frances was outright yelling. "I don't believe you! This is all your fault! You have friends, you have connections, you could have gotten these charges dropped if you wanted to. You didn't want to! You've always been jealous of Frank because he was so smart and talented, and now you can get back at him by having him locked up!"

Annie went to Frances and took her hand. "Mom, please don't do this. It wasn't Bobby's fault. It was…"

"Annie," Bobby cut her off. She looked at him and he frowned slightly and shook his head. He didn't want her to tell his mother the truth about what had happened. She opened her mouth to argue with him, but he shook his head again.

Frances missed this exchange because she was so furious. She snatched her hand out of Annie's and pointed at Bobby again.

"Either you help your brother or don't come around here again, do you hear me?"

"Mom, there's nothing I can do. The deal has been made. If he doesn't go to that rehab on Monday, he'll go to jail."

"You can do something if you want to, you just won't! Get out of here! I never want to see you again!"

Frances' roommate had been out of the room when this started, and now Annie realized she was standing in the doorway with her mouth open. She also saw staff members heading towards the sound of the commotion. Annie tried to reason with Frances.

"Mom, you don't mean that. Please just calm down and listen."

"I mean it! I never want to see him again!"

She was becoming louder and louder. Now a nurse and two orderlies were in the room. Annie saw that the nurse had a syringe in her hand. Frances continued yelling, but when she picked up a book to throw at Bobby the orderlies grabbed her and escorted her to a chair. Bobby slipped out of the room as the nurse approached her with the syringe, trying to talk her into calming down. Annie went to the doorway and looked out in the hallway. Bobby was slowly walking towards the elevator. She called his name, but he didn't turn around.

She went back in Frances' room. She was becoming increasingly agitated, so the orderlies picked her up between them and laid her on the bed. The nurse gave her the injection in her hip. Then they used soft cloth restraints to tie her wrists to the rails on the bed. The nurse assured her that they would check on her frequently and would release her as soon as the drugs took effect and she calmed down. She encouraged Annie to go ahead and leave and to call later for an update.

Finally Annie picked up her purse and left. She apologized to Frances' roommate for the commotion. She took the elevator down to the lobby, but didn't see Bobby anywhere. She went out to where the car was parked and found him just sitting silently in the car. She got into the car and he started it up and drove away. She waited for him to say something, but he remained silent. After twenty minutes she tried to talk to him.

"Bobby…"

"Don't," he said.

"But I don't understand. Why didn't you let me tell her the truth? That I'm the one who turned him in and that you wanted to help him?"

"None of that matters, and I do not want you to tell her anything," he said firmly, looking over at her for a moment. "Leave it alone and let me handle it."

They were silent for few minutes, and then Bobby said quietly, "I think it might be time to let the state take over as her conservator."

"What?! Why?"

"For one thing, because she doesn't want me around. And I'm just tired of her accusations and theatrics. Let the state make decisions for her."

"But you know she doesn't mean it! She'll calm down. Bobby, you can't be serious."

"I _am_ serious. I'm tired of it."

They rode the rest of the way in silence. They didn't even say goodnight when Bobby dropped her off at home. She stood and watched his car drive away. She went in the house and paid the babysitter. Bobby called later and talked to the kids. They were disappointed that he didn't come in and see them but he told them that he needed to get back and check on Uncle Frank.

Annie worked the next day and when she got home, Bobby was there preparing dinner. They didn't say much to one another during dinner or the rest of the evening, but the children were so excited to have Daddy home that they kept up a constant chatter. Once they were in bed, Bobby went down to his basement office without saying anything to her.

Annie had to work the next day, so she got ready for bed and read for a while. She turned off the light and tried to go to sleep, but she couldn't. After laying there in the dark for an hour, she got up and went downstairs to find Bobby. She couldn't stand the silence between them.

Bobby was sitting on the couch reading. He glanced up at her when she came down the basement stairs, but he didn't say anything. He went back to his book. Annie went to the bookcase lining one wall and ran her hands along the books. She could see he was not going to make this easy.

"Did Frank get settled OK?" she asked.

"Yes."

"How is he?"

Bobby looked up from his book. "The bruises and cuts are healing. I took him in to have the stitches removed. But he's still having pretty bad headaches because of the skull fracture."

"Is…is he still mad?"

"Yeah, he's still mad."

"Are you?" she asked softly.

"Yes."

"Bobby….I'm sorry."

He laid his book down and looked up at her. "You're sorry for what, Annie?"

"What?" she asked, surprised.

"You said that you're sorry. What are you sorry for? Are you sorry for turning those drugs over to Briscoe and Green? Are you sorry for insisting that they not help us out? Are you sorry for trying your best to get Frank sent to jail? Just what is it you are sorry for?"

She didn't know how to answer him. The truth was that she was not sorry for any of those things.

"I'm sorry," she began, "that you are angry. I'm sorry that you think I did this to hurt Frank. I'm sorry that there's this strain between us."

He stood up and began to pace. "So, you're sorry that I reacted the way I did and you're sorry for the results of your actions. But you aren't sorry for your actions themselves? Did I get that right?"

Now she was angry. "Yes, as a matter of fact, you do have it right. I'm not sorry for my actions and I would do it again exactly the same way. I'll tell you something else I'm sorry about, though. I'm sorry that my husband took two thousand hard-earned dollars out our savings account to pay off his brother's gambling debt, knowing that it's just a matter of time before he runs up another one. I'm sorry that my husband bailed his brother out of jail instead of letting him see just how lucky he is to be going to rehab for a year. I'm sorry that my husband spent money we can't afford on a private attorney to handle a plea bargain that a public defender would have been perfectly capable of handling."

"I tried to explain to you what could happen to Frank in jail. That beating he got is exactly what would happen to him the entire time if word got out that he's related to a cop. Briscoe and Green tried to explain it to you, too. But you were so sure that you and you alone had the right answer that you wouldn't listen to anyone. If you had let me handle this, I could have gotten him into a rehab exactly like this one. But you are so angry with Frank that all you could think of was that this was a perfect opportunity to punish him!"

"You've had over twenty years to get him into rehab and it hasn't happened. It only happened now because of that drug charge, because he was forced to. I am so sick and tired of this family making excuses for Frank. And you're just as bad as your mother. 'Poor Frank, Mom and Dad expected too much of him, he had too much responsibility too young.' I've had it up to here!"

"You don't know what it was like growing up in that house! You had a happy childhood with loving parents and a doting grandfather. You have no idea what you're talking about."

"So because I had a good childhood, I have no right to say anything? I know what addiction looks like, Bobby. I know what co-dependence and enabling looks like. Frank is forty-four years old. When is enough enough? When do you start making him face the consequences of his actions? He's the one who gambled his way into a two thousand dollar debt to a bookie. He's the one who was in possession of drugs."

Bobby exhaled deeply and turned away from her. He ran his hand over the back of his neck and stood with his back to her for a moment. Finally he turned around and said wearily, "I don't want to fight about this anymore, Annie. Neither of us is going to change our minds, and what's done is done. Just let it go. I'm not going to talk about this anymore tonight."

He waved his hand in her direction as he turned and sat down at his desk. He picked up a book on criminal profiling that was lying open and began reading. Annie was furious at being dismissed, but she also realized that he was right. They were not going to come to an agreement tonight. Perhaps they never would come to an agreement on this issue. She turned and went back upstairs.

She didn't think she would be able to sleep, but she settled into bed anyway. She spent some time praying, although she wasn't sure what to pray for. For Frank's life to change? For Bobby's attitude to change? For her own attitude to change? All she could do was pour out her heart to God and pray for the ability to leave the answers to Him.

She had just begun to doze when her cell phone rang. She looked at the clock. 11:00. No one would be calling her so late just to chat. If Bobby weren't at home her first thought would be fear for his safety. She opened the phone and said, "Hello?"

"Annie?" It was her uncle's voice.

"Uncle Tom? Is something wrong?" She sat up in bed.

"Annie, Honey, I've got bad news. Pop had a heart attack tonight." It felt like _her_ heart had stopped. Uncle Tom went on. "He's alive, Honey. But they want to take him into surgery and he's refusing to let them unless you tell him it's OK."

"W….What happened?" Annie's voice sounded shaky even to her.

"He had his poker buddies over tonight. They said he told them his left arm and shoulder had been hurting all day; said he thought he must have pulled something. Then he started complaining about heart burn, and then he just collapsed. The guys called 911 and an ambulance took him to the emergency room. He wouldn't let us call you earlier; he said he didn't want to worry you. But they did all kinds of tests and the doctors said he needs a bypass operation right away. Now Pop wants to talk to you. He says he won't let them cut him open and play around with his heart unless his little girl tells him it's OK."

Annie took a deep breath. "OK, is the doctor there? Let me talk to him first."

The doctor explained that the blood vessels of Grandpa's heart were severely blocked and he needed a coronary artery bypass immediately to replace them. After discussing the options of surgery versus plaque-dissolving medication, she agreed that surgery was the best option and asked to talk to her grandfather.

"Is that my little girl?" Grandpa's voice was cheerful, although it was weak.

"Grandpa, I've talked to your doctor and I agree that you need the surgery right away. I want you to sign the consent, do what the doctors and nurses tell you, and I'll be up there as soon as I can. OK?"

"OK, Annie. If you think it's best. You drive careful now, you hear? In fact you better wait until morning. I don't think you should be driving so late at night. And the roads might be icy."

"I'm coming tonight Grandpa", she said firmly. "But I promise to drive carefully. And I'll be praying for you the whole time. I love you, Grandpa."

"I love you too, little girl."

Uncle Tom came on the phone and repeated Grandpa's advice to wait until morning. When she again insisted that she was not going to wait, he told her to drive carefully.

As she closed the phone, Annie tried to prioritize what needed to be done. She needed to pack a suitcase. But she needed to talk to Bobby first and let him know what was happening. Would he come with her? He was so angry with her. But he would put that aside for this, wouldn't he? Her thoughts were racing now and she couldn't seem to grasp onto any of them. She needed to talk to Bobby, but he was downstairs and her suitcase was right here in the bedroom. She should pack her suitcase and then go downstairs to talk to Bobby.

Annie went to the closet, pulled out a suitcase, and opened it on the bed. She went back to the closet and looked at the clothes. There seemed to be so many, what did she need to take with her? The clothes all seemed to blur together and she couldn't concentrate. Which ones should she take? She went to her dresser and opened a drawer. It was her sock drawer and she stood looking down at them, unable to make her brain focus on which ones she should take. She was still holding her cell phone in one hand. She reached down and picked up a pair of socks with the other one. She looked at the socks. What was wrong with her? This shouldn't be so hard, should it? Why couldn't she even decide on a pair of socks to take?

Her hand began to shake and she felt like she was going to begin sobbing over her inability to choose what to pack. Finally she thought, "Bobby will know what to pack. I need to talk to Bobby." So she turned and headed down the stairs.

Bobby was still sitting at his desk with his back to her. He heard her coming down the basement stairs, but he didn't turn around. He just said, "Annie, I told you I won't talk about this anymore tonight. Just go back to bed."

She stopped halfway to the desk and looked down at the cell phone and the socks in her hands.

"I don't know what to pack", she said.

Bobby sighed as he turned around. "Pack for wh…." He stopped when he caught sight of her. "Annie? What's wrong? You're white as a sheet. What's wrong?" He got up and walked over to her. He leaned down to look her in the eyes.

"I don't know what to pack", she repeated.

"What are you packing for? Where are you going, Annie?"

"To Connecticut. I need to pack, but I don't know what to take."

Bobby shook his head in confusion. "When are you going to Connecticut and why?"

Annie just looked at him. She couldn't bring herself to say the words, "Grandpa had a heart attack."

Finally she whispered, "I don't know what to pack."

Bobby looked down at the phone in her hand and gently took it from her. He flipped it open and checked to see the last incoming call. When he saw it was from Uncle Tom's cell phone, he pushed the button to dial it.

"Uncle Tom? This is Bobby. Did you call Annie tonight? What's going on?" Annie watched his face as he listened intently. Then he said, "OK, I understand. I'll take care of arrangements here so we can drive up there…..Yes, I will...Give our love to Grandpa."

He closed the phone and put it in his pocket. He put both hands on Annie's face and leaned down to kiss her gently.

"Baby? Are you OK? Uncle Tom said we should wait until morning and I think we sh…."

Annie pulled away impatiently and said, "No! I have to go now!"

He grabbed her arms and pulled her back to him.

"OK, OK, OK. We'll go tonight. OK? We'll go. There are just a few arrangements I need to make. And you need to pack."

"I don't……."

Bobby put his hands on her face again and smiled down at her.

"You need to pack some warm clothes, Babe, enough for two or three days. Jeans and sweaters."

She looked up at him. "Jeans and sweaters," she repeated.

"Yes, jeans and sweaters. And warm socks, like the ones in your hand. And underwear, and pajamas, and another pair of shoes."

The thought that Annie had been refusing to acknowledge finally surfaced: Grandpa could die. She felt the sob rising in her chest as her eyes filled with tears. Bobby pulled her against him and wrapped his arms around her. He held her tightly as she wept loudly for several minutes. As her sobs began to subside and her shaking lessened, he pulled back with his hands on her face again and kissed her wet cheeks.

"I need to make some phone calls now and you need to go pack," he whispered.

She took in a deep, shuddering breath, and said, "Jeans and sweaters."

He smiled down at her and kissed her cheeks again.

"Yeah, jeans and sweaters."

She hugged him tightly, then turned and went back upstairs to pack.

**End chapter 5**


	6. Chapter 6

REBUILDING

**REBUILDING**

**Chapter 6**

_Squarey, a question in one of your reviews found its way into this chapter. It was just too good to resist. _

Annie went up to change out of her pajamas, pack a bag, and pack one for Bobby. Meanwhile Bobby called the hospital and talked to the night shift supervisor. He told her about Annie's grandfather and not to expect her in for at least the next week, but she would call when she knew more. He called Captain Deakins at home to let him know that he would be out for at least a few days. He called Janey and asked if she and Rob would keep the kids for the next few days. He called Eames and asked her to come over and stay with the children for the night, and take them to Janey's in the morning.

Within an hour the bags were packed, Alex had arrived and told them not to worry about the children, and they were pulling out of the driveway in the SUV. Bobby decided it was safer to take the SUV instead of his Mustang in case there was ice on the roads.

Annie looked out the window as they drove. At this hour some of the houses they passed were dark as the occupants slept. Other houses still had lights on and TV's flickering in some of the rooms. It was a clear, cold night and the windows in the warm car fogged up. She leaned her head against the cold window and closed her eyes, but she couldn't sleep. She tried to imagine where Grandpa was right now, what was happening in the hospital in Connecticut. Bobby's low voice drew her attention.

"What is it you call that surgery? A cabbage?"

She smiled. "Yes, a CABG. Coronary Artery Bypass and Graft."

"That's one of surgeries I watched." Over the years, Annie had gotten permission from some of the surgeons for Bobby to observe surgeries from the teaching gallery. "They take veins from the legs and replace occluded arteries in the heart, right?"

"Right."

"They have good success with it, don't they?"

"Depends on the patient, but yes, statistically they have good success."

"Grandpa's strong," Bobby said simply. Annie appreciated that he didn't promise everything would be fine and give her assurances that he couldn't know were true.

"He is strong."

He changed the subject. "What ever happened at church with that petition Miss Silver was passing around to get rid of the pastor?"

"Oh, she didn't get very many signatures. People love Pastor Ron. She's moved on to Christmas and what is acceptable and what isn't. I just try not to get caught up the debate."

"Speaking of Christmas, when is the hospital having the employee Christmas dinner?"

Bobby continued asking her questions about church, the hospital, neighborhood gossip. It felt good to talk to him about insignificant things. It had been so long since they'd had a normal conversation. She knew he was trying to distract her and she loved him for it. She looked at his profile in the dark car, occasional oncoming headlights lighting his face.

"Thank you," she said softly. He smiled, laced his fingers through hers, and brought her hand to his lips. Then he asked her to make up a story about the people in the car next to them on the freeway. By the time she had finished her story they were pulling up in front of the hospital. He let her out at the ER entrance and told her to go find Grandpa while he parked the car.

Annie was directed to the third floor to the waiting room for the Cardiac Care Unit. It looked like the entire town was waiting. Annie's aunt and uncle, her cousins and their spouses, Grandpa's poker buddies, and various other relatives and friends were all there. As soon as she entered the waiting room she was engulfed in hug after hug.

Grandpa was still in surgery. Bobby came in after parking the car and the hugging began all over again. They were offered coffee, soda, pizza, crackers, and cookies. Everyone settled in groups, talking in low voices. Bobby put his arm around Annie and pulled her close. She laid her head against his chest and watched all of the people who loved Grandpa chatting, eating, dozing in the chairs.

It occurred to her that Bobby was right. She did have a happy childhood. Her parents had been killed by a drunk driver when she was eleven and that had been traumatic. But Grandpa had been there, and so had almost everyone in this room. She had been loved and supported and comforted by all of them. She had grown up feeling secure and loved. She looked up at Bobby. For all of her married life she continued to feel secure and loved because of him. He was able to provide that for her even though he had never experienced it himself as a child. Where did that resilience come from? How had he developed it on his own when he had never seen it modeled in his own family? She wondered if Bobby felt guilty that he had found for himself the family that he and Frank never had as children, while Frank was still alone and still trying to smother the pain of his childhood wounds with his addictions.

Bobby noticed her watching him and he silently raised his eyebrows in question. She loved the way his forehead wrinkled when he did that. Annie smiled and reached up to smooth the wrinkles.

"Have I told you lately how much I love you?" she asked softly.

He smiled back at her and leaned down to briefly kiss her on the lips. He tightened his arm around her and pulled her head back against his chest. Annie thought she dozed off for a few minutes.

Then the doctor was there, explaining that the surgery was over and he felt good about Grandpa's recovery. He said that once he was out of recovery and settled in the ICU he would allow four people to visit him, two at a time and for only five minutes. He would allow more visitors later in the afternoon if Grandpa was up to it. He advised everyone to go home and get some sleep.

It was decided that Bobby and Annie would go first and then Uncle Troy and Aunt Jeane. Because she was familiar with medical equipment and hospitals, she didn't expect to be shocked when she was finally ushered into his room. But she _was_ shocked. Working with all of that equipment on strangers was different than seeing it being used on her grandfather. For the first time in her life, Grandpa looked old to Annie. He lay in the bed with his eyes closed. He was pale and his cheeks slightly sunken. The white hair and the wrinkles that had been with him for as long as Annie could remember now reminded her that he was eighty six years old.

Annie leaned over and gently kissed his cheek. His eyes opened and he smiled up at her.

"There's my little girl," he said in a whisper.

"The doctor says you came through the surgery great, and he thinks you will recover well."

They stayed for their five minutes and Annie prayed with her grandfather. She kissed his cheek again and told him she would see him later in the day. Grandpa grasped Bobby's hand and told him to make sure Annie got some sleep. Bobby promised he would. Annie smiled, remembering when she had been in the hospital after she was attacked, and how she asked Grandpa to make sure Bobby ate something.

After her aunt and uncle visited Grandpa, everyone headed to their homes to try to get some sleep in the few hours left before the sun came up. Bobby and Annie went to Grandpa's house. She didn't think she could sleep, but Bobby insisted that she take a shower and change into her pajamas while he made hot cocoa for her. After she finished the cocoa he insisted that she get into bed. He changed into sweatpants and a tee shirt and slipped into bed next to her. He wrapped his arms around her and settled her so that her back was cuddled against him. Then he started to tell her a story for a change.

"Once upon a time a brave, handsome soldier rescued his clumsy friend from the teeth of a vicious dragon. The friend had sustained wounds from the dragon so the brave soldier took him to a beautiful, fair-haired nurse. She worked her healing magic on the friend. But when she saw the soldier she cast a love spell over him so that he would fall madly in love with her."

Annie giggled at his retelling of their first meeting.

"Shh…" said Bobby. "I'm getting to the good part."

Annie relaxed against him and fell asleep to the soothing sound of his voice. When she woke up, the sun was up, Bobby was not in the bed, and she smelled coffee and bacon. She went down to the kitchen and found Bobby making breakfast. They sat in Grandpa's cheerful kitchen eating.

"You know," Annie said thoughtfully, "Grandpa always thought I was the most amazing person in the world. At least that's how he made me feel. Whatever I tried, he cheered me on. He even made my failures feel like victories because he just knew that I would learn from them and go on to be a success at the next thing I tried."

Bobby leaned down and kissed the top of her head as he cleared the table. After they cleaned the kitchen and got dressed, they headed back to the hospital. They were told that Grandpa had a very good night and was stable. They were allowed to visit, two at a time, for 10 minutes each hour. The family all took turns. When it was Bobby and Annie's turn, she was glad to see that he looked so well. He wasn't as pale as the night before and he was more alert. She looked at his vital signs on the chart at the end of his bed. Temperature, heart rate, respiration, blood pressure—they were all stable.

The entire family met with the doctor and he said that he was pleased with Grandpa's progress. He expected him to be in the hospital for several days, maybe a week. After the doctor left, the family discussed options for when Grandpa went home. A Home Health Nurse would visit him a few times a week to begin with, but the family wanted someone to be there with him when he got home. They also felt it was time to hire someone to cook and clean for him. Finally it was decided that Annie would stay with him for a week after he returned home. She and Aunt Jeane would begin interviewing people to hire to cook and clean for him. Annie also told them that Grandpa needed to move into the bedroom downstairs, at least for the first few weeks. Uncle Troy and Aunt Jeane went to talk to Grandpa and although he balked at hiring a "maid", he finally agreed.

Bobby and Annie went back to the house. Annie called the hospital and arranged to take the next two weeks off work. She called Janey's house and talked to the children, explaining what had happened and that Grandpa was going to be fine. She insisted that Bobby return home to the kids and to his job. He offered to stay a few days, but she told him she would be fine now and he should go. He would take the SUV and Annie would drive Grandpa's car while she was there. Bobby would drive back up in two weeks to take her home. It was late afternoon when Annie walked him out to the SUV.

After putting his suitcase in the SUV, he leaned against the car and pulled Annie into an embrace. They stood with their arms around each other for several minutes.

"Are we OK?" she asked softly.

"Yes."

"Because you feel sorry for me?"

"Yes," he laughed but added, "and because Grandpa isn't the only one who thinks you are the most amazing person in the world."

"Bobby…..your mother….."

He gently put a finger to her lips and said softly, "Leave it alone, Annie."

"Just….please don't do anything or make any decisions until after the first of the year, OK?"

"OK."

He kissed her nose and she laid her head against his chest. It was a cold day and Annie pressed against Bobby's warmth. He put a finger under her chin to tilt her head up, leaned down, and softly kissed her. He tightened his arms around her and he deepened the kiss. Her arms went around his neck as one of his hands held the back of her head and the other went to her buttocks and pulled her even closer. Annie's heart rate picked up. She wiggled her hips against his and pressed closer. It occurred to her that they had not made love in over two weeks. Bobby's lips moved down to her throat and his tongue touched the sensitive hollow there. Annie moaned softly and tilted her head back even more, her eyes closed.

"You know," Bobby whispered against her throat, "I don't have to leave right this minute. I have some time."

Annie thought about this as he continued to kiss her throat. The first time they had visited Grandpa after they were married, Annie made it very clear that she was not going to have sex in her grandfather's house. It had never been an issue for them in all the years of their marriage.

_It has been over two weeks,_ she reasoned, _and it will be at least two more weeks. Grandpa isn't home, no one is here. _But she thought about her bedroom in Grandpa's house. Her childhood room, which looked pretty much as it did when she was sixteen, with her stuffed animals on the bed and pictures of horses scattered around. She sighed sadly as she realized that she just could not bring herself to make love in that house.

She suddenly realized that Bobby had stopped kissing her. She opened her eyes and found that he was watching her face. She had no doubt that he had read her thoughts as she struggled with the battle between her libido and her aversion to "desecrating" her grandfather's house. He was grinning down at her with a knowing look, obviously realizing she had made her decision and they would not be making love that day. She tried to glare at him, but couldn't quite pull it off.

"You suck," she managed to say before dissolving into giggles. Bobby laughed loudly and hugged her tightly. He lowered his head for one more searing kiss before telling her good bye and getting in the SUV. Annie stood in the road and watched the SUV drive away.

The next two weeks were busy as Annie and Aunt Jeane moved Grandpa's things from his bedroom to the downstairs bedroom and began interviewing people to cook and clean for him. Annie spent a lot of her time at the hospital with Grandpa, entertaining him and trying to keep him from annoying the nurses. The better he felt, the more anxious he was to go home, and the crankier he became. Finally, after five days the doctor released him. Annie went with Uncle Troy and Aunt Jeane to bring him home. Over the next several days there was a steady stream of family and friends coming to visit. Annie made sure Grandpa didn't overdo it, insisting he go to his room to rest frequently. She and Aunt Jeane had interviewed quite a few people to work for him and had narrowed it down to three women. Once Grandpa was home, they brought each of the women in to be interviewed by Grandpa. They refused to listen to his objections to hiring someone and insisted that he make a choice. He finally agreed to hire Martha, a young, energetic college student. Annie insisted that she start work right away so that Martha and Grandpa could get used to one another before Annie went home.

She talked to Bobby and the children on the phone every night. The kids made a point of telling her all about what they did at Aunt Janey's house every day, especially how much fun they had playing with her dog. She smiled at their efforts to wait patiently for an answer about getting a dog. She knew that they needed to give them a definite answer soon.

Bobby and Alex were working on the murder of a psychiatrist. He didn't say much about it, but she knew that they were investigating Garcia House, a group home for mentally ill people. The Garcias were very well-known for their work with the mentally ill. Annie had made arrangements for several patients to be referred to them over the years. So she was as shocked as everyone else when she saw on the news that they had been arrested for Medicare fraud. Bobby didn't give her too many details, but he did say they had been looking at them for the murder but now it looked like they weren't involved.

Annie called her mother-in-law at least every other day. She knew that Bobby had not seen or talked to his mother since the day she said she never wanted to see him again. He did call the facility every few days to check on her, but he did not speak to Frances. It was difficult for Annie to talk to her because Frances was still so angry with Bobby. She tried to smooth things over, but Frances wouldn't talk about it. She desperately wanted to tell Frances the truth about what had happened with Frank. But Bobby had told her, ordered her, not to say anything.

Finally the two weeks were up, and Bobby was coming to get Annie. He didn't bring the children because they were going to leave soon after he got there and it would have made for a very long day in the car for three active children. When the SUV pulled into the driveway, she ran out and threw herself into Bobby's arms. He lifted her off the ground and kissed her.

They went in the house and Bobby spent some time visiting with Grandpa. Annie's cousin, Marian, arrived and said that she would stay with Grandpa for the rest of the afternoon and make sure he was settled for the evening. Martha would be there in the morning to make breakfast for him. As they got ready to leave, Annie checked once more to make sure Grandpa had everything he needed so that he would not have to go up the stairs, although the doctor had told him he could make one trip up and down the stairs per day. A nurse came to check on him twice a week and a physical therapist was coming three times a week. Martha came to cook and clean five days a week. Annie knew that between her aunt and uncle, her cousins, and all of Grandpa's friends that there would be someone checking on him every day.

She kissed Grandpa Goodbye as Bobby took her suitcase out to the car. As much as she wanted to get home and see her children, she was suddenly reluctant to leave her grandfather. Grandpa, who could read her thoughts as well as Bobby could, patted her cheek and reassured her that he would be fine. She hesitated before getting into the SUV, looking back up at the house. Bobby wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed the back of her neck.

"He's going to be fine, Babe," he whispered into her ear.

She leaned back against him for a moment, then sighed and got into the car. She was quiet as they drove away; looking out the window at the familiar streets she had roamed as a child. Neither of them spoke until they were on the freeway.

"I went to see Mom last night," Bobby said quietly.

Annie turned to look at him. "Last night? You drove up there after work?" It was a long drive and would have meant getting home late.

"Yes. I….I just…needed to….see her."

"Why?"

"We got the man who murdered that psychiatrist." Annie was confused at the sudden shift in topic. But she thought he would get around to answering her question in his own time.

"Who was it? Did it have anything to do with Garcia House?"

"Well, yes, but the Garcias themselves weren't directly involved. One of the doctors they were using to defraud Medicare was this ophthalmologist. He was performing numerous eye surgeries; useless surgeries. Most of the people he operated on have irreparable damage to their eyes. The psychiatrist was hacking into the Medicare database, trying to find his brother-in-law. When he went to see the ophthalmologist, Dr. Dysart, he panicked and killed him."

"So Dr. Dysart killed him because he was afraid of being arrested for fraud?" Annie asked.

"No. Dysart wasn't afraid of being arrested so much as he was afraid of not being able to continue his 'work'".

"His work?"

"Dysart only performed those surgeries on schizophrenic patients. He thought he could cure their visual hallucinations and that would cure their schizophrenia."

"What?" she asked incredulously. "That's crazy! Hallucinations aren't caused by the eyes."

"It _is_ crazy," Bobby agreed. "That's the point. _Dysart_ is schizophrenic. He started having symptoms in medical school. That's when this idea came to him. If he could stop the hallucinations, he could cure the disease. He went all these years without anyone knowing that he was having hallucinations himself. When he hooked up with the Garcias, he had a steady supply of schizophrenics to work on. And the Garcias didn't care what he was doing as long as they got their cut of the Medicare money."

Now Bobby's visit to his mother was beginning to make sense to her.

Bobby continued. "After we got his confession, I just couldn't stop thinking about my mother. Dysart fooled people for years. No one who knew him had any idea. But he didn't have anyone close to him to notice; no family, no close friends. If there had been anyone close to him, anyone who understood, maybe he would have gotten the help he needed years ago."

Annie reached over and caressed his cheek. "Bobby," she said softly.

"My mother…she's getting the help she needs, but…she…she needs me."

"Yes she does," Annie agreed.

"I can't just walk away from her."

"No, you can't. So…you went to see her last night? How did that go?"

"Well, she didn't throw me out. We talked, I think she listened. I apologized…I groveled," he sighed.

"Bobby," she said hesitantly. "Why not just tell her the truth? That I found Frank's drugs, that I turned them over to the police, that I insisted on his arrest, and that you wanted to keep him out of jail? Let her be mad at me for a change."

"Because I don't want her to be mad at you."

"But why?"

Bobby sighed. He kept one hand on the steering wheel and with the other hand he reached over and laced his fingers through hers.

"I realized that my mother needs me to take care of her. To look out for what's best for her. Sometimes what's best isn't what she wants, but she needs me to make those decisions and not be swayed by her anger or her manipulation. But, Annie, she needs you, too. She needs you to be her ally."

"Her ally? But she knows I support every decision you make regarding her care."

"Yeah, yeah, she knows that. But you are the daughter she always wanted, and she doesn't have this complicated history with you. You can give her manicures and gossip with her and take her for walks, and she can just enjoy your company. When she's mad at me for something she knows you are going to support me, but she can tell herself that you have to because you're my wife. But she knows you'll still be there to listen to her and to do all those girly things. It's…it's like 'good cop, bad cop'. I'm the bad cop and you're the good cop. She needs you to be the good cop."

Annie was silent for a few minutes as she thought about what he said. Then she smiled at him and said, "But I thought Eames is the bad cop and you're the good cop."

He laughed and kissed the back of her hand. "Well, not with my mom. I get to be the bad cop this time. So…just let it go, OK? Ma and I, we worked things out. Just let it be."

"OK," she sighed. She hesitated and then asked, "How is Frank?"

"He's OK. He's settling into the facility. He's not liking the restrictions very much. Frank doesn't much like being told what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. Maybe this time he really will work the program and stay clean."

"Bobby….you know….I didn't….I really didn't do this because I hate Frank. I did it so that he would be forced to get help. I want him to be clean, I want him to be a part of your life, a consistent part of your mother's life, a part of the kids' lives."

"I know," he said softly.

"I can't apologize for what I did. But I really am sorry that I hurt you and that I caused problems between you and your mother."

He kissed her hand again, keeping his eyes on the road. They didn't talk about Frank or Frances for the rest of the way home. They talked about the books they were currently reading, movies they both wanted to see when there was time. Christmas was approaching and Bobby told her that the kids were making renewed appeals for a puppy. Annie still wasn't sold on the idea of having one. She wasn't sure she wanted the extra work that would be involved. She especially didn't relish the thought of housebreaking a puppy in the winter; taking it outside in the cold and snow. She asked if they could talk about it again in the spring and he agreed, although he seemed disappointed. Annie wondered if he wanted a dog as much as the children did.

When they arrived home, the children came running out of Janey's house next door and nearly knocked Annie over as they all hugged and kissed her. They moved into the house and Bobby ordered pizza and salad while Annie sat on the couch and tried to follow all three children's excited stories of everything that had happened at school and at home since she had been gone. After dinner there was a flurry of bedtime activity; baths, stories, prayers, drinks of water, pleas for one more story, one more glass of water. She knew they had missed her and were trying to prolong her time with them, so this once she let them keep her running back and forth between the two bedrooms until they all finally seemed ready for sleep.

She went to her bedroom and found Bobby had already changed into sweat pants and a black tee shirt. She thought that the black tee shirt was probably a deliberate choice, since he knew how much she liked it on him. Annie was suddenly very aware that it had been a month since they made love.

"I think I'm going to take a shower," she said.

"Do you want company?" Bobby asked.

She smiled and said, "No, not tonight. I think I'd rather slip into something more….comfortable after my shower."

Bobby laughed He got up and kissed her. "I'll just run downstairs while you shower and…uh…slip into something comfortable."

After he left the room, she went to her dresser. Instead of the knit sleep pants and tee shirt that she usually slept in, she pulled out a black lacy teddy that Bobby had given her for Christmas the year before. It was a tradition for them to exchange one gift in private on Christmas Eve, after the children were asleep. She always gave him an expensive silk tie that she spent weeks searching for to find exactly the right one. And he always gave her lingerie, which he insisted she model. Annie smiled as she ran her fingers over the lace. Christmas Eve was her favorite day of the whole year.

When she finished her shower and came out of the bathroom, Bobby was again lying on the bed. His eyes lit up at the sight of her in the black teddy and she just stood for a moment, letting him look her over. The teddy was a black lace halter type with silk ribbons laced across the bodice. It just skimmed the top of her thighs and had matching black silk panties.

"Wow," he said softly. "I think that's the best one I've ever bought for you."

She smiled and moved to stand next to the bed. "You think?"

"Oh yeah. In fact, I think we probably aren't going to need what I brought to the party."

"What's that?" she asked,

He reached under the pillow and pulled out a can of whipped cream. Annie started laughing as he reached up and pulled her down on the bed next to him. He laced his fingers through her hair and covered her mouth with his as she wrapped her arms around him.

**End chapter 6 **


	7. Chapter 7

REBUILDING

**REBUILDING**

**Chapter 7**

_This chapter is set around the episodes Legion and Cherry Red._

_Thank you Spook!_

The ringing of Bobby's cell phone pulled Annie from a deep sleep and she groaned in protest as she lost the warmth of his body curled around hers when he reached to answer it. She looked at the clock next to her bed as he mumbled words of agreement with whoever was on the other line. 12:07 AM. Annie had been asleep for about two hours. It was actually early for Bobby to be asleep. She wasn't sure when he had come to bed, but thought he probably hadn't been asleep for long. She stayed where she was as she listened to his end of the conversation.

"Uh huh. Yeah. What's the address? OK, yeah, I got it. Meet you there."

He ended the call and rolled back against Annie. She snuggled against his warmth, knowing that he would be getting up and leaving in a moment. He nuzzled her hair and whispered into her ear, "We caught a body. I've gotta go."

"OK. Bundle up, it's probably still snowing."

He kissed her cheek as he got up from the bed. He tucked his pillows against her back and tucked the blankets in around her. Annie smiled at his thoughtfulness. She didn't get up, but lay in bed watching him dress. He squatted down next to the bed to kiss her before leaving. She reached out and ran her hand over the wool cap he had pulled on. She loved the way he looked in that cap. But then, she loved the way he looked all the time. He smiled at her and then he was out the door. Annie settled back into bed and drifted back to sleep.

It was early January. Christmas and New Year's had come and gone. Bobby and Annie explained to the children not to expect a puppy for Christmas, but they would talk about it again in the spring. Their neighbor, Rob, had a brother who owned a restaurant. He threw a New Year's Eve party every year and Bobby and Annie always attended. She loved going to that party; the beautiful decorations, the dancing, the kiss at midnight.

She was aware when he returned to bed around three in the morning, and she rolled over to wrap her arms around him and try to warm him up. He hugged her close and kissed the top of her head.

"Tough case?" she murmured.

"Yeah," he whispered.

For the next week Bobby didn't say much about the case. She found out that the body he had been called about in the middle of the night had turned out to be two bodies, a boy and his father. Their throats had been slit and they had been left in a shallow grave in Prospect Park. But the father hadn't died immediately and made his way out of the park and into the street, where he was hit by a car. Annie knew that cases involving children were especially difficult for Bobby. He told her that they had found several "John Doe" cases that turned out to be the bodies of young boys who were all from the same neighborhood as this boy and his father.

She was working when a call came in from an ambulance transporting a teenage boy who had attempted suicide. Annie and Dr. Silva met the paramedics at the door as they wheeled the gurney in. Just behind them were Bobby and Alex. The paramedics had started an IV and administered an anticonvulsant. They told Dr. Silva they tried to intubate (insert a tube into his lungs), but were unable to get it in. Dr. Silva noticed Bobby and Alex and asked if they were the ones who called for the ambulance. When they responded that they were, he waved them into the room as they wheeled the gurney in.

"Tell me what happened leading up to this," Dr. Silva said.

Alex answered, "When we arrested him, he turned his back to us and put his hand to his mouth before turning back and surrendering. By the time we got him down to our vehicle, he seemed confused and wasn't making much sense."

Bobby added, "He was quoting Marcus Aurelias but didn't seem to be able to track our conversation, almost like he was drunk. In the car, he started to breathe fast and white foamy sputum came out of his mouth just before he started having seizures. We think he took some kind of poison when he saw us."

Annie told him, "Heart rate is 130, BP is 80 over 50, O2 saturation is…95?" That seemed wrong, he was barely breathing.

"Right, false high. Skin is cherry red. Any thoughts?" Dr. Silva turned to the two interns who had followed them in.

"Cyanide poisoning?" suggested one.

"Yes, most likely. Annie, start another IV line and get the Cyanide Antidote Kit. We need ABGs and blood lactate level. Have them check cyanide concentration, but by the time it shows up there it'll be too late. We need to go ahead treat this as though it is cyanide. Dr. Gray, try intubating him again, but if you can't get in we'll do a trach."

Bobby and Alex stepped out of the room as everyone moved in a flurry of activity. They removed his clothing and covered him with a hospital gown while they were working. Annie started the second IV line while another nurse drew the blood for the lab tests. They administered the IV sodium nitrite, and sodium thiosulfate from the Antidote Kit. They were not able to get a tube down his throat and into his lungs so Dr. Silva performed a tracheotomy, a surgical incision through the throat into the trachea to allow oxygen to the lungs, and then a ventilator was attached by tubing. Once his airway was safe, they inserted a tube through his nose to his stomach and administered activated charcoal.

Annie found his driver's license in his wallet and called his home. The boy's name was Frank Marino; he was seventeen years old. She spoke with his father and explained that it looked like he had taken poison and they were treating him. She tried to explain how serious the situation was and asked him to come in right away. He was noncommittal and Annie told him again that his son's condition was very serious and he should come to see him soon. She saw through the window that Dr. Silva had gone out to talk to Bobby and Alex.

An hour later, she noticed that not only had Bobby and Alex remained, but another man had arrived and was talking to them. The boy's father had not arrived and Annie tried calling him again but there was no answer. The ventilator was breathing for Frankie and his heart was still beating, but he was not responding to the antidote medications as they hoped. She prayed his father would arrive soon. She knew that saying goodbye would be an important step towards closure.

Another hour passed and Frankie's heart stopped. They attempted to resuscitate him, but Dr. Silva finally stopped them and announced the time of death. Annie wanted to cry, but she didn't. They all hated losing any patient, but when a child died it was even more tragic. And knowing that Frankie died surrounded by strangers made Annie's heart break. She wondered again where his father was. Dr. Silva and the interns left Annie to clean up and prepare Frankie's body to be taken to the morgue.

But first she went out to inform Bobby and Alex. She found them down the hall.

"Bobby, the Marino boy didn't make it. The doctor will be out to talk to you. I need to notify the next of kin…the father." She picked up the phone at the desk.

"Annie," Bobby said, "His father, he's not gonna care."

Annie put the phone down and looked over at Bobby. He was speaking softly to the man who had joined them.

"Excuse me, but I really do need to notify the parents."

The man walked over to her. "Nurse, I'm Ronald Carver, Assistant District Attorney. I need to explain something to you. It's very important for our investigation that no one know that the boy is dead just yet. We need for you to delay calling his father."

Annie looked from Carver to Bobby and Alex.

"I…I can't do that," she said. "This boy is a minor; I'm required to notify his father as soon as possible. Besides, I already called and told his father that he was here and that he was in serious condition. He could show up any minute. I can't lie to him."

"My office will be getting a court order immediately. But we need for you to hold off calling the father until we get it."

"But there isn't a court order right now, and right now I have an obligation to notify his father."

Mr. Carver said, "I think I need to speak to someone in charge. Before you make that call."

"Fine, I'll get Dr. Silva; he's the attending physician. And I'll call Dr. Barrows, the chief of staff. Are they 'in charge' enough?"

"Yes, thank you." Mr. Carver ignored her sarcasm.

Within a few minutes Annie, Dr. Silva, Mr. Carver, Bobby, and Alex were all gathered in Dr. Barrows' office. Ron Carver presented his request that the hospital hold off notifying the boy's father until he had a chance to get a court order. Dr. Barrows looked at Dr. Silva, who simply shrugged. He turned to Annie.

"Ms. Paine? What's the problem?"

"The problem is that we have a minor child who just passed away. His father has already been notified that he is here and could show up at any time. I'm not comfortable lying to, or withholding information from, a parent. We have a legal and ethical duty to notify this father as soon as possible. He wasn't able to be here before the boy died, but he may want to see him before we send his body off to the coroner."

Bobby had been quiet until this point, but now he spoke up.

"Look, Frankie was ordered to poison himself by the same person who led him to steal and commit murder, someone who is responsible for the murders of several young boys in the neighborhood. It's important that this person and the other boys involved in this gang think that Frankie is alive and able to talk to us so that one of them will make incriminating statements."

"Is Frankie's father the suspect?" Annie asked.

"No, he isn't."

"Then there isn't any reason to keep his son's death from him. Losing a child is difficult enough. How much worse will it be for him if he finds out that we kept it a secret from him for…what will it be? Hours? Days? Especially if he shows up here at the ER looking for his son and we lie to him and give him the run around." Annie was becoming annoyed.

Bobby waved his hand dismissively. "If Mr. Marino knows that his son is dead, everyone in the neighborhood will know and we will have lost a valuable tool. This father is not going to show up. Frankie has been here for over two hours and his father hasn't been here. When we went to his apartment looking for him, his father wanted a reward to tell us where to find Frankie. He won't come because he doesn't care."

"I don't make value judgments about who does or does not 'deserve' to have me follow the rules. My first obligation as a nurse is to be a patient advocate. The needs of my patient come first, and the needs of the family come next—whether I approve of their parenting or not." She folded her arms across her chest and glared at Bobby. Alex touched her hand to her face and looked uncomfortable.

Bobby looked at Annie steadily for a moment, and then he turned to Dr. Barrows.

"Excuse me, Dr. Barrows, but this isn't really a decision that is up to a nurse to make, is it? Wouldn't this be something that is more appropriately decided by a doctor?"

There was silence in the room for a moment. Annie uncrossed her arms and put her hands on her hips as she narrowed her eyes.

"Excuse me?" she said softly. But before she could go on, Dr. Barrows interrupted and took charge of the meeting.

"OK, OK. Annie, I mean no disrespect, but the detective is correct. In this hospital, I do outrank you and this will be my decision." He turned to Ron Carver. "Mr. Carver, you say that your office is in the process of getting a gag order?"

"It will be here within the hour," Carver nodded.

"Alright then, here's what we are going to do. I am ordering the staff to say nothing about the death of Frank Marino for the next hour, pending a court order. After that, we will abide by whatever the gag order says. Go ahead and get the body ready to be released to the coroner." He raised his hand as Annie opened her mouth to speak. "And if anyone, including the boy's father, comes in and asks about his condition, he will be referred to me. I will handle it myself. Is that understood?" The question was directed to both Annie and Dr. Silva, but Dr. Barrows was looking at Annie.

"Yes sir," she said as she turned to walk out of the room. She stopped at the sound of Bobby clearing his throat.

"Uh…we, uh, need a picture of Frankie with all the equipment still attached."

Annie rolled her eyes before saying, "We have a Polaroid camera at the nurse's station. I'll get the picture for you." Then she turned on her heel and stalked out.

She didn't wait for Bobby and Alex to follow, but went to ER reception and relayed Dr. Barrows' orders concerning Frankie Marino. She pulled the camera from under the counter and went to the room where Frankie lay. Bobby and Alex caught up with her as she entered. Without saying anything to them, she took three pictures from different angles. She reached out her hand to give them to Bobby, then pulled back as he reached for them.

"That was a low blow," she said.

"Yes, it was," he agreed.

Out of the corner of her eye she could see Alex easing towards the door. It occurred to her that in all their years of marriage, she and Bobby had been careful to keep their occasional disagreements private. Yet this was second argument they'd had in public in a month. She felt sorry for Alex, but she had one more question.

"Is this payback for Frank?"

Bobby looked her in the eye and shook his head. "No, no it's not. This is about catching a murderer."

She nodded her head and handed the pictures to him.

"Well, you have your gag order and you have your pictures. If you'll excuse me, I need to get Frankie's body ready for transport, since it seems his father will not be allowed to view his body before it leaves the hospital."

Bobby took the pictures from her without a word and put them in his jacket pocket. He turned to Alex and said, "It's time to round up some legionnaires." And they left.

Annie turned back to the body of the teenager. She began cleaning the room and disconnecting the IVs, cardiac monitor, and ventilator. She put a fresh hospital gown on him and covered him with a sheet. As she worked she thought how young and innocent his face seemed in death. He didn't look at all like a hardened criminal or murderer, but simply a young boy. Her eyes filled with tears at the wasted young life, and at the thought of a parent being unaware of the death of his child.

She tried to maintain her anger at Bobby and convince herself that he was being vindictive. She had challenged him in front of his fellow detectives, and now he had challenged her in front of her coworkers. But she had never known Bobby to be vindictive and she just couldn't manage to reconcile that image of him with the man she knew and loved. She thought about how he looked and sounded during the meeting in Dr. Barrows' office and here in this room afterwards. While he had sounded frustrated at the delay she was causing his investigation, he had not looked or sounded angry. Simply determined to get this settled quickly and get on with his case.

By the time Annie's shift ended that evening Frankie's body had been picked up by the coroner's office, but there had been no inquiries from Mr. Marino, in person or by phone. Bobby was right, he wasn't going to call or come in. It was unfathomable to her that a parent would not care that his son was seriously ill. She gave her report to the next shift and went home.

Bobby wasn't home yet and he didn't come in until she and the children were already in bed. He came into the bedroom and changed out of his suit. As usual, he got into bed and cuddled with Annie until she fell asleep. She knew once she was asleep he would get up and go back downstairs. They talked quietly for a few minutes about the children and plans for the weekend. Neither of them mentioned what had happened at the hospital. Annie didn't ask about the case and he didn't offer any information. She rested her face against his chest and drifted to sleep.

As usual, he was already up when she woke up in the morning. Again nothing was said about his case as they went through the morning activities. Annie went to work and again, there were no calls from Frankie's father. That evening was just like the one before, with Bobby coming in late. She knew that meant he was working on a case and could only presume it was the one involving Frankie. She worked again the next day and by now she held no illusions about having to deal with answering Mr. Marino's questions about his son. It was obvious he had no questions and no interest in his son's condition.

Just before her shift ended, Annie was called to the reception desk. When she got there, Bobby and Alex were waiting for her. There was an older Hispanic man with them.

Bobby watched her as Alex explained, "Nurse Paine, this is Anthony Marino, Frankie Marino's father." Annie raised her eyebrows in surprise as Alex continued. "After arresting Jojo Rios this morning for the murders of four neighborhood boys, we informed Mr. Marino of his son's death and took him to the Medical Examiner's office to view Frankie's body. We thought he might have some questions about his care and the details of his death, so we offered to escort him here to speak with you."

She glanced at Bobby but couldn't read his expression. "Why don't we step in here?" she asked and led them into an empty exam room. She knew that Mr. Marino had not asked about Frankie's death, that Bobby thought she needed to talk to this father. Had he asked for information they would have directed him to the doctor who treated him, not one of the nurses.

She closed the door and turned to Mr. Marino. She explained to him what had happened from the time Frankie arrived in the ER and that they did everything they could to save him, but the cyanide had worked too quickly. Anthony Marino had said nothing since he arrived.

Now he asked, "So the Medical Examiner told me it was definitely cyanide."

"Yes," Annie told him. "The blood work confirmed it. Apparently the detectives saw him put something in his mouth, and that was most likely when he took it. Taken orally like that, cyanide works very fast."

"So…" Marino said slowly. "He took the cyanide when they came to arrest him, right?"

"That seems to be what happened," Alex said.

Marino faced Annie and asked, "So do you think I've got a lawsuit against them?"

Annie was taken off guard by the question. "A…a lawsuit? Against the detectives?"

"Yeah….they made him commit suicide, right? I could sue them, right? And the whole NYPD. Maybe even the city. You think they would have to pay me for….uh…for my….pain and suffering…that's what it's called, right?"

Annie looked at him incredulously. She couldn't believe what he was asking. Finally she found her voice.

"So let me get this straight", she began.

Bobby saw the look on her face and interrupted. "I…uh…think that's a question you should ask a lawyer, Mr. Marino."

Anne glanced at Bobby and then back to Marino. She continued, "You want to know if I think you should sue the detectives and the NYPD for the death of your son?" She spoke softly.

"Yeah. Do you think I got a case?"

"These two detectives here…they are the ones you want to sue? The two detectives who started CPR, called an ambulance, and got Frankie to the hospital as quickly as possible? The two detectives who then went out and found the evidence to arrest the person who convinced your son to commit suicide? Those are the detectives who you want to sue?" Annie took a deep breath and went on before he could answer. "I think that is an excellent idea Mr. Marino. I absolutely think you should hire a lawyer and go to court and let the entire world know just what a worthless father you were to that boy." Marino opened his mouth to argue but she was furious now and cut him off. "I think any judge, any jury, and the newspapers would just love to hear all the details of that boy's life and how your neglect of him drove him to look for a father figure who led him into a life of crime, who taught him how to commit murder, and who convinced him to kill himself. But make sure that your lawyer calls me as a witness because you certainly wouldn't want the court to miss out on hearing how I personally called you the day your son was admitted and told you how serious his condition was and encouraged you to come in as soon as possible. They will be thrilled to hear how not only did you not come in, you did not even call to find out how he was. For two days you made no effort at all to find out about the condition of your son. The one whose death has caused you such 'pain and suffering.' Please, please sue the detectives so that the entire world will know just what a sorry excuse for a father you were to that poor boy!"

Her voice had risen as she spoke until she was almost shouting. Marino's face had gone from shocked to angry to enraged as she spoke. As she finished he stammered, "No one talks to me like that, you…" He stepped towards her, but his sentence and his forward motion were stopped as Bobby smoothly stepped between them, grabbing Marino by the front of his shirt and propelling him backwards toward the door.

At the door, Alex grabbed the back of his coat, turned him around, and pushed him out of the room. Annie saw Alex speak to two uniformed officers who took hold of Marino's arms and escorted him out. Bobby and Annie stood looking at each other across the room for a moment, then without saying a word Bobby stepped out of the room. Annie saw him speak to Alex who nodded. She turned and waved to Annie and walked away. She went out to where Bobby was standing.

He looked down at her and said, "I told Eames that I would ride home with you. Can I wait in the break room?" She nodded and he turned towards the break room.

Annie gave report to the next shift, then went to the break room. Bobby was sitting on the sofa, leafing through a magazine. He stood up and watched her silently as she opened her locker and got her things. She turned to face him and they looked at each other for a moment.

Finally Bobby grinned at her and said, "First Frank and now Anthony Marino. Is this what they call driving men wild?"

Annie managed not to laugh, but couldn't prevent the smile from spreading across her face. She struggled to look serious as she said, "What you said in Dr. Barrows' office is still a low blow."

"Yes it was," he agreed with a serious look.

She waited for a moment but when he didn't say anything else she said, "And you aren't going to apologize?"

"No I'm not," he said and smiled his most devastating smile.

She waited half a beat before saying, "You suck!"

Bobby laughed loudly. He crossed the room, lifted her off the floor, and kissed her. She put her arms around his neck and returned the kiss enthusiastically. Bobby rested his forehead against hers and whispered, "Take me home, Nurse."

She knew their laughter caused heads to turn their direction as they left the hospital on their way home.

Two weeks later, Annie was cleaning up after dinner when Bobby burst through the front door and found her in the kitchen. He was smiling and she couldn't remember the last time he had looked so excited. He grabbed, kissed her, and then held his hand to her nose.

"Smell my hand," he said.

Annie pulled her head back as she laughed and said, "I think I've heard this one before. Is it anything like 'pull my finger'?"

Bobby laughed and put his hand back under her nose and said, "No, really, smell my hand."

She looked at him suspiciously and carefully sniffed his fingers. There was a faint smell of leather.

"Leather?" she asked.

"Well, it's faded…I tried not to wash my hands today." He grinned. "It's Italian leather. C'mere!" He grabbed her hand and pulled her after him down the stairs to his office in the basement. He sat down at his desk and pulled her onto his lap as he pulled up the internet on the computer. "There! Look at that!" he exclaimed excitedly.

She looked at the computer screen and saw a red sports car. "Pretty," she said.

"Pretty?! That is a '62 Ferrari GTO. Only 32 made. And I sat in one today!"

Annie smiled at the excitement in his voice and the look of wonder on his face. He looked like child on Christmas morning.

"So, what….you took one for a test drive? Are you planning on trading in the Mustang?"

She laughed and he laughed with her. "No, I didn't test drive it. I wanted to, but Eames made me get out. It was a stolen car that we recovered from a murder suspect. But that car was…I…I can't even describe what it was like to sit in that car and feel that powerful engine. The guy had model cars that he put together when he was a kid. Look…"

He reached across her to the computer and in a few minutes had six more pictures of cars. "These were the cars he had models of. Ron Carver and I were looking them over. The detail on each one of them was amazing. He spent hours on them."

Annie ran her fingers through his dark curls. She loved seeing this boyish side of him. He was looking at the pictures on the computer, smiling.

"Lewis collected model cars like this. I don't remember how many he had. He saved all his money to buy them, and his parents would get them for him for his birthday and Christmas. He let me help with some of them, but they were his babies; mostly he did all the work himself." He looked at her and she saw the familiar shadows in his eyes that came with childhood memories. "I really wanted one of those models, you know? I did odd jobs for the neighbors and saved up my money until I had enough to buy one." He tapped the computer screen. "I bought that one….the '57 Bel Aire; it was beautiful. I spent hours putting that thing together. I put it on the dresser in my room." He sighed and looked at the picture on the computer.

"What happened?" Annie asked softly. Bobby looked at her and shrugged.

"My mom, you know? She…she went on one of her rampages, looking for 'bugs'. She, uh, thought there were bugs in the car and she…smashed it."

Annie sighed and hugged him. She thought how quickly Bobby's happy childhood memories turned to unhappy ones. He held her for a moment, then pulled back and smiled at her. The happy, boyish smile was back.

"You know….it really was amazing to sit in that car today. These muscle cars, they're really an aphrodisiac for guys. You know what I mean?"

Annie giggled as his hands began to roam. "The kids…" she said softly.

"They'll stay upstairs for a while, don't you think?" He smiled and kissed her.

"Mommy!" came Ally's voice from the top of the basement stairs. "Phillip and Andrew hid my doll and won't give her back!" They looked at each other and began laughing as they got up to go upstairs.

The next night Annie was sitting on the couch watching the news when Bobby came in. He looked around and whispered, "Where are the kids?"

"Upstairs, why?"

He grinned at her as he took off his coat and hung it up. He grabbed her hand and pulled her off the couch and led her to the kitchen. Looking back in the living room again, he went to the back door and opened it.

"Take your time, Goren. It's not like it's forty below out there or anything," said Alex Eames as she stepped into the kitchen. Annie's eyes widened at the yellow ball of fur Alex was holding in her arms. Bobby had stepped outside and was now bringing in a small dog crate and a box containing puppy food, toys, blanket, and brush. He closed the door and turned to Annie, his face excited and smiling just as it had the night before over the cars. Annie looked at him incredulously.

"Wh…what have you done?"

"This morning, we were at a crime scene…"

"You brought home a dog from a crime scene?"

"No, no, no. We were _leaving_ a crime scene and out on the street these kids were trying to give away this puppy. They had given away two others, but hadn't been able to find anyone to take this one. They said their dad was going to take her to animal control if they didn't give her away today."

"You picked up a puppy off the street and brought it home? You don't know those kids, you don't know if the puppy has some illness or birth defect or anything about it!"

"Well, they had the mother there and I looked her over as well as the puppy. They both seemed fine. And…I took her to a vet to be checked out. She's healthy. She's eight weeks old and the vet guesses she's a mix of Golden Retriever, Lab, and Shepherd; she got her first set of shots today and I already made an appointment for her to be spayed when she's six months. And then Eames and I went to the pet store and I bought everything she needs."

"But…we agreed to wait until spring. And I thought we would pick one out together."

Alex sat down in one of the chairs and focused her attention on the puppy as Bobby led Annie into the living room.

"I know…but Annie…you should have seen her out there on that street with those kids. It was cold and she was shivering…." Bobby looked down at his shoes then back at her. "It's just that…seeing those cars yesterday, and remembering how much I wanted a model…..it made me think, you know? The kids have been so patient…they haven't bugged us even though they all want this really badly. And…I know that we can't, and shouldn't, give them everything they want. But, Babe, sometimes surprising them with something that they want so much…it's a memory that will stay with them all their lives."

He stopped and looked at her, his brown eyes pleading. She looked at him, thinking about the wounded little boy that lay beneath the accomplished, intellectual, successful detective. She realized that there was nothing she could do about his childhood memories, but she could help him create happy memories for his children. She smiled and walked over to the bottom of the stairs.

"Ally, Phillip, Andrew," she called. The three children came down the stairs. Annie told them, "Daddy and Aunt Alex have a surprise for you in the kitchen."

Bobby smiled and mouthed "Thank you" to her as he led the children into the kitchen.

"A puppy!" All three children squealed with delight as they descended on Alex and the puppy.

"Hey! Be careful there," warned Alex. "Puppies and aunts need gentle touches." She sat the puppy on the floor and the children plopped down with her. They all laughed as the puppy scrambled over each of them, licking their faces.

Ally jumped up and hugged Alex, then ran and wrapped her arms around her father's leg. "Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is the best present in the whole world!"

Bobby laughed and squatted down to hug her as the twins also ran over to hug and thank him. He went over and sat on the floor with the children and the puppy. Alex put her coat back on and stooped to kiss each of the children goodbye. She paused in the entryway where Annie was leaning against the wall, and they both watched Bobby and the children playing with the puppy.

"Carbon copies," Alex said with a laugh. She hugged Annie and left.

Annie stood watching for a few more minutes, just enjoying the sight of her husband looking so childlike. The puppy suddenly ran to where she was standing and grabbed the toe of her slipper in her mouth. She growled and tugged on the slipper, shaking her head vigorously back and forth. Annie reached down and picked her up. She held her up and looked at her. She had medium long fur that was yellow with a white chest and white feet. Her ears were long and flopped forward.

"If you pee on my carpet, you and I are going to have a problem," Annie said in a somber voice. The puppy looked at her face for a moment and then began twisting and wriggling to get free, while also trying to reach out and lick Annie's face. She laughed and handed her to Andrew. She went over and sat on the floor next to Bobby. He put his arm around her and leaned over to whisper, "Thank you" in her ear. She scooted closer to him and leaned her head on his shoulder as they watched the children playing with their puppy.

**End chapter 7**


	8. Chapter 8

REBUILDING

**REBUILDING**

**Chapter 8**

_This begins just after the events of the last chapter, but is set primarily during A Person of Interest_

A week after Bobby brought the puppy home she still didn't have a name. There was a debate raging among the three children and Annie was staying out of it. She just smiled as Bobby looked at her over the heads of the arguing children.

"I like Buster," declared Phillip.

"I want Skip like in the movie," Andrew argued.

"Those are boy names and she's a girl. She should have a girl's name, like Jewels from 102 Dalmatians," was Ally's contribution.

Finally one night, Bobby sat them down to referee and try to come to a consensus as to what to call the puppy. He let them present their positions again and listened seriously to each one.

He told the boys, "Your sister has a point that she is a girl dog, so Buster or Skip might confuse people and make them think she's a boy."

"But Jewels is too girly," protested Andrew.

"She _is_ a girl," said Ally primly.

"But she's not _girly_," insisted Phillip.

Bobby held up his hand for silence. He thought for a moment and then suggested, "How about Sandy?"

"Like in 'Annie'?" asked Ally, interested.

"But Sandy was a boy," pointed out Phillip.

"Yes," Bobby said, "in the movie Sandy was a boy. But it can be either a boy's name or a girl's name. And she is yellow like Sandy was in the movie."

All three children were quiet for a moment. Then Andrew nodded his head.

"I like Sandy," he said.

"Me too," said Phillip.

Bobby looked at Ally and asked, "How about you, Sweetheart?"

She smiled and said, "I like Sandy, too."

For the next two months Sandy gradually learned her name. Even more gradually she learned to potty outside. Spring approached and the snow melted, making it easier to convince Sandy to go outside.

As spring vacation for the children approached, Annie talked to Bobby about going to Grandpa's. He was doing well since his heart surgery and she wanted to take the children to spend time with him. Bobby agreed, but he wasn't sure he would be able to get time off. Annie was able to get a week off, but had to be back at work on Friday.

About a week before they were to leave, Bobby and Alex caught the case of a former Air Force nurse who had been murdered. As usual, he didn't give her too many details, but once it became clear it was somehow related to missing anthrax she knew that there was no way Bobby would be going with them to Connecticut.

They left on Friday and would return the following Thursday. As Bobby kissed her before she got in the car, she teased him about eating out while they were gone. He enjoyed going to Sal's, and tended to eat there most nights any time she and the children were out of town. While Annie was used to waitresses flirting with her handsome husband, there was one waitress at Sal's who was particularly smitten with him. She never seemed to mind that he was accompanied by his wife and would flirt with him outrageously. To Annie's amusement, Bobby would blatantly flirt back. He told her he only did it because it got them excellent service. She had to agree that the waitress, Rhoda, was very attentive to their table every time they ate there.

Annie kissed Bobby and told him, "Be sure to give Rhoda my regards." He laughed and kissed her as she got into the car.

It was good to see Grandpa. He was doing well since the surgery, although he still tired easily. He and his housekeeper, Martha, had bonded and he treated her like one of his grandchildren. Martha kept his house clean, prepared his meals, and made sure he took his medications and followed doctor's orders.

That evening, after the children were in bed, Annie and Grandpa watched the news and saw the press conference that ADA Ron Carver had held outside Haznostics. They were surprised to also see Bobby challenging Dr. Croyden to come in for a blood test to prove his innocence.

Annie and the children enjoyed the weekend. They had brought Sandy with them and she was excitedly exploring Grandpa's big backyard. On Monday Bobby called her and somberly told her about Croyden committing suicide. They talked for a long time, Bobby seeming to need to hear her voice.

She saw for herself on the news that Croyden had been exonerated. She also heard the speculation that Detective Goren had hounded him until he drove him to kill himself. Bobby called her late Tuesday night and said that he suspected someone had used Croyden to set him up to look "ruthless and incompetent." He didn't know who could have done it or why.

Then he called again late Wednesday night. "It was Nicole Wallace," he said simply. He told her about Nicole following him into Sal's, taunting him about Croyden and ruining his career, then flaunting her rich husband. He knew she had orchestrated the whole thing, but didn't know how to prove it.

"What does Alex say?" Annie asked.

Bobby sighed. "She says we're going to get her back."

"Sounds like a plan to me," Annie said softly.

Again Bobby talked to her for a long time. When they finally said their goodnights, Annie reminded him they would be home the next day and they would talk some more.

They got home the next afternoon. After unpacking and settling in, Annie ordered pizza for dinner. Bobby came home late, but made sure to go in and kiss all the kids.

As they lay in bed that night, Bobby talked about the case, about Nicole, and about going to see her husband that day. He and Alex weren't able to convince him that his wife was actually a murderer named Nicole Wallace. With her new citizenship and her husband's money, Nicole seemed insulated. Bobby and Alex were working on a plan that would allow them to arrest her and bring her in for questioning.

When Annie fell asleep, Bobby didn't get up as he usually did. He stayed in bed with her, holding her as she slept.

Annie was having lunch in the hospital cafeteria the next day, her nose buried in a book, when her attention was pulled from her book by a woman's English accent.

"May I sit here? There don't seem to be any empty tables."

She smiled and indicated the chair across from her. "By all means, you're more than welcome to join me." The woman smiled at her and sat down. Annie asked, "Are you visiting a patient?"

"I'm here to see the wife of a friend. And you…are you a doctor or a nurse? Hospital attire is so confusing to me, I can't tell the difference between a surgeon and a lab technician," she laughed.

Annie laughed with her. "That would be our American passion for a classless society. I'm a nurse; I work in the Emergency Room."

The woman leaned forward with interest. "That sounds very exciting. You must see plenty of life and death situations."

Annie chuckled. "Sure, we see more of those than we would like. But we also see plenty of broken arms, scrapes and bruises, and vomiting children."

"Well, I think you are probably being modest. I have always admired nurses. You do all the dirty work that the doctors don't want to do and for much less money."

"Hmm….are you our new union representative?"

Annie and the woman both laughed. Officers Johna Jones and Harlana Simmons waved hello to Annie from across the room. The woman nodded in their direction and said, "I think that uniformed police officers face the same plight as nurses: All the dirty work for less money than the detectives."

Annie nodded. "You're correct; the uniformed officers do work hard. But I know a lot of detectives and I can assure you that they do their share of the dirty work."

The woman leaned forward and said, "Really? You probably meet a lot of police in your work."

"Sure, they come into the ER to interview witnesses or they bring in suspects who have been wounded."

"Wounded suspects? That must be frightening to be so close to violent criminals."

"Frightening? Sometimes, I suppose," Annie said. "But all of the cops who come in here are very good at securing someone who might be violent. And if they have been in a fight with the police, then by they time they get here the fight has usually gone out of them."

"Of course the television makes it look like the police routinely brutalize suspects. Or that they are…what do they call it? Dirty? You know, framing innocent people and all that. Have you ever seen anything like that?"

Annie laughed. "That may make for interesting TV, but no, I don't know any 'dirty' cops."

"Well then, I'm certainly glad you don't know this one. If he's not dirty, his methods seem to be….questionable…at best."

She opened her paper and laid it on the table, facing Annie. Annie froze as she saw the headline "Scientist Innocent!" The woman read out loud, "Innocent man driven to suicide by ruthless and incompetent detective." She smiled at Annie. "You have to feel sorry for the detective's poor family. It must be so humiliating to have your husband's…inadequacies…advertised on the front page for all to see."

Annie stared at the paper for a moment and then looked at the woman. She realized now that this was no chance meeting. The blond hair and the English accent should have been clues. But, she reasoned, she wasn't a detective so why would she have been looking for clues? Just like watching the end of a murder mystery first, the clues were easy to spot once you knew what to look for. The woman's age, appearance, and voice were all just as Bobby had described. Annie leaned her folded arms on the table.

"Well I guess introductions aren't necessary, are they? You seem to know who I am. And you are obviously Nicole Wallace."

"Ah, I see your husband has been talking about me; how flattering. But, poor Bobby seems to be having a terrible run of luck these days. He hounds poor, innocent, Dr. Croyden until he kills himself. And he has once again botched his identification of me." She held her hand across the table. "Actually my name is Elizabeth Haynes. But please call me Elizabeth…Annie."

A detached part of Annie's brain thought how surreal it was to sit here sharing tea and conversation with a serial killer, and wondered why she wasn't feeling panicky and rushing to call Bobby. But as she looked at Nicole's smiling face she realized that she wasn't afraid. Annie wasn't sure what it was supposed to feel like to be stalked by a killer, but this felt more like…..a game. Nicole was playing a game with her, with Bobby, and she seemed to be enjoying herself enormously. She ignored Nicole's outstretched hand and steadily held her gaze.

"Is there something I can help you with?" Annie asked.

Nicole's smile grew brighter and she folded her hands on the table in front of her.

"Oh no, I don't need anything at all. But you do like to help, don't you Annie? That's why you became a nurse. Do you help Bobby with his poor, sick mother? It must be a terrible strain on a marriage to have a mentally ill mother-in-law foisted upon you. Tell me…" She leaned forward conspiratorially. "How hard was it to convince Bobby to lock her away in Carmel Ridge? It must have made things so much easier to have her up there where you can control just how often you're forced to see her."

"Is there a point to all this, Nicole? What is it you want?"

"The name's Elizabeth. Bobby paid my husband a little visit yesterday and I just wanted to return the favor. And I admit to being a tiny bit curious about 'the woman behind the man'. The brilliant detective and his devoted wife. Although the brilliant part seems to be in question these days." She lowered her voice and assumed a concerned look. "I do hope that's not because of any problems at home. It was surprising to see that Bobby ate out, alone, five nights in a row. He isn't feeling…unwelcome…at home, is he? You know, they have some excellent books on rekindling romance."

"Your concern is touching."

"I should think you would be concerned, too. Has it occurred to you that your husband's anger towards Dr. Croyden wasn't just because he reminded Bobby of his father, but that he sees those same traits in himself?"

"My husband is nothing like his father and nothing like Croyden." Annie knew it was a mistake to engage in this verbal sparring match with Nicole, but she found herself drawn in.

Nicole smiled smugly. "Really? His father left his sick wife and his children. Dr. Croyden left his sick wife and his child. But you're nice and healthy, aren't you? No mental illness, no cancer, and I hope no lingering effects from that vicious attack on you…what was it? Almost two years ago now? Except perhaps a few scars. Do you ever worry that Bobby is repulsed by them? That they remind him of another man's hands on his precious wife?"

Annie felt as though she had been slapped. Bobby had told her that Nicole was talented at finding a person's weakness and exploiting it. But she was shocked that she had so easily honed in on one of the few insecurities that Annie had. The scars on her abdomen and back left by the knife that Martin Ramsey had stabbed her with. When she looked at those scars, she felt the pain of losing the baby girl she had been pregnant with at the time.

But it was the suggestion that Bobby was repulsed by her scars that caused her to feel as though Nicole had just thrust a knife into her heart. Annie had never been vain about her looks, but Bobby had always made her feel beautiful. Although he still looked at her the same way he always had, she did indeed wonder if he was repulsed by those scars. Because the truth was that Annie found them repulsive.

As Nicole's jab hit its mark, Annie felt a flash of anger. She leaned forward and said softly, "The only worry I have about my husband is how frequently he encounters psychotic killers."

Nicole laughed with delight. "Very good, Annie, very good. But then, not everyone he encounters is a psychotic killer, are they? Some are just poor innocent men who incur his wrath because they remind him of his dear, departed father."

Annie realized she was out of her league and needed to end this.

"As….ah…interesting as this has been….Nicole….I need to get back to work."

"Oh, of course, of course. Must get back to saving lives." Nicole stood up. She carefully folded her newspaper and placed it under her arm. "Do give my regards to Bobby. Tell him that I look forward to more….stimulating….conversations." She smiled again, then turned and walked away.

Annie sat and watched Nicole until she left the cafeteria. Then she got up and went back to the ER. She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and dialed Bobby's cell.

"Hi Babe," he answered. She could tell he was distracted by whatever he was working on at the moment.

"Um...Bobby, I, uh…had a visitor at lunch."

"Uh huh…" he mumbled to someone, probably Alex. Then his attention came back to Annie and he asked, "Who was it?"

"Nicole Wallace." There was silence for several beats and she wondered briefly if he had heard her. "Bobby?"

"Is she there now?" he asked quietly.

"No, she left."

"Where are you?" His voice was still soft, but there was a strange quality to it that Annie couldn't quite put her finger on.

"I'm in the ER, of course. I'm at work."

"Hold on," he said. He moved the phone away from his mouth and she could hear him speaking to someone, but couldn't make out the words. When he came back on the phone he told her, "Annie, I want you to stay where you are. I'm on my way over there. Don't leave the ER; don't go anywhere alone, just stay where there are other people."

"What?"

"I'm on my way. Don't move."

He ended the call abruptly. She looked at the phone for a moment, confused. She had expected him to have questions, but she hadn't expected him to drop everything and rush over. Annie went to the reception area and let them know that her husband would be coming to see her. Then she picked up a chart and went to an exam room. She had taken vital signs on the patient and was in the process of asking questions about the woman's abdominal pain when the curtain around the woman's bed was abruptly drawn back by Bobby. Annie and the woman both looked up in surprise to see him towering over them. Annie didn't see how he could have gotten there so quickly.

Bobby told her, "We need to talk."

"OK…I…I just need to finish…"

"Now," he cut her off as his hand closed around her wrist and he pulled her after him. Annie handed the chart to another nurse as Bobby pulled her past, and quickly asked her to finish up with the woman. He pulled her down the hallway, then turned to her and asked, "Empty room?"

Annie nodded and pointed to a room. Bobby went into the room, still holding her wrist firmly. He closed the door behind them and only then did he let go of her.

"What did she say?" he asked abruptly.

Annie stared at him for a moment and then said, "Well…she didn't introduce herself at first; she just asked if she could sit with me in the cafeteria. We struck up a conversation. She said she was here to visit the wife of a friend; I suppose you are the 'friend' she was talking about. She asked about my job and then she was talking about nurses in general and then the police and then she laid the newspaper on the table with the story about Croyden's suicide. She made a comment about the detective in the story….and I realized she brought it up deliberately because she knew I was your wife."

"And what did you say when you knew who she was?"

"I told her I knew that she was Nicole Wallace. She said her name was Elizabeth."

Bobby was pacing back and forth in the room. He rubbed his hand over the back of his neck as he asked, "Did she say why she came?"

"She said that you 'visited' her husband yesterday and she wanted to return the favor, and she said she was curious about me. Then she started talking about your mother and your father and about…well, you know, just the same stuff she has said to you."

Bobby stopped pacing and looked at her closely. It had always made her feel…cherished…that he could read her emotions and her thoughts so well. But sometimes, like now, there were things she didn't want to talk about and that same trait of his made her uncomfortable. But she could see it in his eyes; he knew that there was something she wasn't telling him. And he was not going to let her avoid his questions.

"What else did she say, Annie?"

"Nothing," she looked down at the floor.

Bobby tilted his head and leaned down to look her in the eye, but she wouldn't meet his gaze. He repeated, "What else did she say, Annie?"

She sighed and backed up a few steps. Her hands felt sweaty and she wiped them on her shirt. "She….asked about….the…um…the attack, and my…scars, and…and…how you feel…about…." She trailed off as Bobby reached out and pulled her to him. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. She felt tears sting her eyes, but blinked them back. He kissed the top of her head and then pulled away, all business again.

"OK, I sent Eames and Jefferies to pick the kids up from school. They'll meet us here and then Jefferies is going to drive the four of you to your grandfather's. We're investigating the details of Nicole's citizenship hearing. As soon as we have something we can arrest her on, you can come home."

Annie stared at him. She wasn't sure what to respond to first, so she started with his first statement. "You…Eames is picking the kids up?"

"Yes," he said slowly, as though he were explaining some difficult concept to one of the children. "She's bringing them here so that Jefferies can drive you all up to Connecticut."

"We aren't going to Connecticut, Bobby. I have to work; the kids have school."

"You _are_ going," he said firmly. "I want you away from here, away from Nicole. I doubt that she will leave town right now, so it should be safe to go to your grandfather's. But Captain Deakins is contacting the police up there and arranging for a squad car to sit outside his house."

"Nicole is not trying to kill me, Bobby; she's just trying to upset me and plant doubts about our marriage. I'm not leaving," she repeated.

Bobby ran his hand through his hair, agitated again. "You are going," he said. "You may be right about Nicole, but I need for you and the kids to be safe. You're going," he repeated.

"No I'm not." She said each word slowly, emphasizing each one.

His raised his voice now. "You don't know what she is capable of, so just stop this, Annie! You and the kids are leaving."

"You are the one who told me a few months ago that she only kills when her victim has something she wants or could harm her in some way, and that there is no advantage to her if she harms me or the kids. I'm not going to be run out of my own home by her little games!"

He suddenly grabbed her upper arms and lifted her until her feet were barely touching the floor. He brought her face close to his. She cringed as he almost yelled, "Listen to me! I can't concentrate on catching her unless I know that you and the kids are safe. You. Are. Leaving."

His grip on her arms was painful and tears slipped down her cheeks as she whispered, "Bobby, you're hurting me."

He released her immediately and stepped back. He raised his hands with his palms facing outward and backed up.

"I'm sorry, Annie. I…I'm…sorry."

He turned his back to her and leaned his hands on the wall as he closed his eyes and lowered his head. Annie watched him in shock. She had seen Bobby angry before, but never like this. He didn't seem angry so much as he seemed….scared. The revelation hit her like a fist in her stomach. Bobby was scared.

She went over to him and slipped in between his body and the wall. His eyes were closed and his breathing was ragged. Annie reached up and held his face gently between her hands. She pulled him down and kissed him gently on the lips. He didn't respond, but didn't pull away.

"Babe," she whispered. "I'm sorry. We'll leave; we'll go to Grandpa's."

His warm, brown eyes opened and looked deeply into her blue ones. He pulled her into his arms and held her for several minutes.

"I'm sorry, Annie, I'm so sorry."

"I know, Babe, I know." She pulled back and looked at him. "I just need to go talk to my supervisor, OK?"

He nodded and kissed her before letting her go. Annie left him in the room and went to find her supervisor. She explained that a family emergency had come up and she needed a few days off. When she got back to the exam room where Bobby was waiting, Alex was there too. And they were arguing about something.

"….and Deakins will pull you off this case," Alex was saying as Annie opened the door. They both fell silent and looked at her as she walked in and closed the door behind her. She looked at her husband and the frightened look from a few minutes ago was gone. Now he definitely looked angry.

"Why would the captain pull you off this case?" Annie asked.

"He won't," Bobby said as Alex answered at the same time, "Because Bobby wants to go threaten Nicole Wallace and tell her to stay away from you and the kids."

"And that's why we are leaving town. So there's no reason for you confront her about this, Bobby." Annie had never seen Bobby this angry and this afraid. She feared what he might do to Nicole.

"I'm not going to sit back while she stalks my family and threatens my wife."

Annie walked over to him and put her hand on his chest. "Bobby, please don't do anything that you'll regret."

He backed away from her and said, "I wouldn't regret strangling the life out of her. But I'll settle for making sure she knows what will happen the next time she approaches my wife."

Alex moved to stand in front of Bobby. "You aren't thinking clearly, Goren. If you do this, it could compromise any case we might build against her. We have a plan in motion to see if she will try to bribe that judge who granted her citizenship. If she does that, we'll have a reason to bring her in and question her. But if you go rushing over there like an enraged husband, you could blow the whole thing and Nicole Wallace will live happily ever after with her rich husband. Is that what you want Bobby? Is the satisfaction of confronting her over this really worth losing the one chance we might have to put her in prison where she belongs?"

Bobby didn't answer, but stood staring down at his partner. In spite of the seriousness of the situation, Annie had to suppress an urge to laugh at the sight of tiny Alex Eames standing there with a very angry, very large, man towering over her. But Alex stood her ground and held Bobby's gaze without wavering. Suddenly the anger just seemed to evaporate from Bobby. He looked down and took a step back from Alex. He raised his hands in surrender.

"OK," Alex said as she turned to Annie. "I left Jefferies in the waiting room with the kids. Let's get you guys on the road so we can get on with this case."

They went out and collected the children and Jefferies. The children were excited as they talked and laughed on the way to the car. None of them seemed the least bit curious about being pulled out of school by their Aunt Alex and going on an unexpected trip to Grandpa's in the middle of a school day. It was just a big adventure for them. At the car Annie realized that Alex had also stopped by their house and packed some clothing for them and collected Sandy, who was curled up in her dog crate in the back of the SUV. Bobby knelt and hugged and kissed each one of the children and made sure they were buckled into the back seat. Before Annie got in the front seat of the department SUV that Jefferies would chauffeur them in, Bobby pulled her close.

"Babe…" he whispered.

She put her finger on his lips to stop him. She put her arms around his neck and whispered in his ear, "Just go get her, Detective."

He kissed her and helped her into the SUV. She and Jefferies made small talk on the drive to Connecticut. The children were excited at first and alternately argued and played games, before each of them fell asleep. When they reached Grandpa's, Annie noted there was a patrol car parked outside. The children woke up and after thanking Detective Jefferies (with some prompting from their mother), they all ran up to the house to see Grandpa. Annie thanked Jefferies as well and he helped her carry their things into the house. After he had driven away, she called Bobby and told him they had arrived (although she suspected Jefferies was already talking to Alex) and that there was a patrol car outside the house. They talked for a few minutes and then said "I love you" and hung up.

Except for the patrol car sitting on the street in front of the house, and following them whenever they left the house, it felt like they had simply extended their spring vacation. Two days after they arrived at Grandpa's, Annie took the kids and Sandy to the beach, followed by their police escort. It was still too cold to go swimming, but the children had fun running up and down the beach with Sandy and digging in the sand. Phillip was holding onto Sandy's leash when the puppy suddenly began barking. Phillip lost the leash when she took off running at top speed toward a man walking from the road on the other side of the sand dunes.

Annie called Sandy but she ignored her and kept running. She looked at the tall figure walking towards them. The children all recognized him at the same time she did. They all yelled, "Daddy!" and ran after Sandy. He knelt down to pet Sandy and then all three children launched themselves at him. After hugging and kissing them and listening to their excited stories for a few minutes he stood up and walked towards Annie, with the dog and the children dancing around him. She smiled as she watched him. He was wearing her favorite black tee shirt, jeans, and running shoes. When he reached her, he smiled as he wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her up. His lips touched hers gently and then pushed hers open for a deep, passionate kiss. He held her like that kissing her for several long moments as Ally giggled and clapped her hands, the twins groaned and hid their eyes, and Sandy barked furiously and jumped up and down. He finally ended the kiss and set her down.

Neither of them mentioned Nicole Wallace as they spent the next two hours playing on the beach with their kids. When they left, Annie noticed that the patrol car was no longer in attendance. Annie had driven Grandpa's car to the beach and Bobby had arrived in their SUV. The children all wanted to ride back to the house with Daddy. Back at the house, Annie made lunch. Afterwards, she left Bobby talking to Grandpa while she and the children packed their clothes to go home. Bobby loaded the car and put Sandy in her crate for the ride home as Annie and the children hugged Grandpa goodbye.

They didn't talk about Nicole until the children were in bed and asleep that night. Annie locked the bathroom door as she showered and dressed for bed. She sighed as she looked in the mirror at the bruises on her upper arms, where Bobby had grabbed her the day Nicole came to the hospital. They were beginning to fade, but were still visible. She could see his fingerprints clearly delineated on her skin. She knew that he already felt incredible guilt for having handled her so roughly and wasn't sure how he would react if he saw the bruises he had left. It was too warm to wear long sleeves so she pulled on a pair of cotton sleep pants decorated with grape vines and wine glasses and the white three-quarter sleeve shirt embroidered with a matching design. The sleeves covered the bruises without being too warm.

Lying in bed, Bobby told her all that had happened with Nicole; how she had taken their bait and tried to bribe a judge, which allowed them to arrest her and bring her in for questioning. During the interview, Bobby and Alex tricked her into thinking she had been exposed to the anthrax virus and she revealed that she had been vaccinated for it. Since there was no record that Elizabeth Hitchens had ever been vaccinated for anthrax, but Nicole Wallace had, Ron Carver was able to get a court order for a blood test. Once they were able to prove that she was Nicole Wallace, she would be charged with murder. For now she was in jail. Bobby expected her husband to bail her out, but he no longer felt there was any danger for Annie and the children. She noticed that he didn't say very much about the interview itself, but she knew that Nicole would not have given in easily.

"So what did Nicole say this time?" she asked as she lay with her head on his chest and his arm around her shoulders.

"Oh, you know, she tried to get to me, to distract me from asking questions she didn't want to answer."

"Like what?"

Bobby sighed and ran his fingers through her long blond hair. "Well, last time she tried to get to me by talking about Mom's illness. This time it was Dad and how he abandoned us. That was the whole point of using Croyden. She knew he was like my father and I wouldn't be able to remain objective. She counted on me going after him like I did. She asked if I was worried that I would follow in my father's footsteps and abandon my family."

"She asked me if I worry about that, too," Annie said.

"What did you tell her?"

"I said that all I worry about are the psychotic killers you have to deal with."

He laughed and tilted her head back to kiss her. Then he said thoughtfully, "Nicole is so…intelligent, and she reads people so well. She had the strength and determination to survive her childhood. Intelligence, insight, strength…with those character traits she could have been anything. She played a literature professor so well; she could have actually been one. But instead she let the anger and hatred for her parents turn inward towards herself and outward towards everyone else. She could have been anything, but she chose to use people, just about everyone she met, to act out all the anger of her childhood."

Annie was silent as she thought about what he had said. Finally it made sense why this killer, more than any of the others he had arrested, held a bizarre fascination and revulsion for him. Nicole had told Annie that Bobby saw his father's traits in himself and it angered him. But she realized that Bobby saw himself in Nicole, and it both frightened him and attracted him. It repulsed him to see how she used people and murdered without conscience, yet he couldn't resist wondering if the "sparkling little girl" was still in there and if she could be saved, in spite of all she had done. He had survived his childhood too, but had made different choices in his life. Maybe he was afraid that he could just as easily have become what Nicole had become.

Her musings were interrupted when Bobby shifted positions so that he was facing her. He looked at her face and ran his thumb across her cheek.

"About those things she said to you. About your scars…" Annie opened her mouth to stop him, but he put his finger across her lips. "Shh…let me say this. I know that even after two years, it's hard for you to look at them. Those scars are a part of who you are, the experiences that have made you who you are, and there is nothing ugly or repulsive about them to me."

Bobby pulled her so that she was lying on her stomach next to him and lifted the hem of her shirt to expose the scar on her lower back. She tried to pull the shirt down, but he pushed her hand away. He leaned down and gently placed a kiss on the scar. Her breath caught in her throat and her heart rate accelerated at the feel of his lips on her skin. He lowered her shirt and rolled her onto her back. He smiled at her as he again lifted the hem of her shirt and leaned down to kiss these scars also; one on the right side of her abdomen and the other just under her left breast. She was definitely having difficulty breathing now. Bobby raised himself up and rested on his elbow as he looked down at her.

"The scars don't bother me at all, Babe. But this does," he said as he reached for one of her sleeves and pulled it up to reveal the bruises she had been hiding. He gently ran a finger along the bruise. His face reflected his guilt and his revulsion over what he had done.

"I didn't mean to hurt you," he whispered.

"I know you didn't."

"But there's no excuse for this," he said.

"No there isn't," she agreed.

He looked up from the bruise and met her gaze.

"Do you want me to leave?" he asked.

She kept her eyes on his as she answered. "No, I don't. But this can't happen again. Ever."

He nodded and ran his thumb over her cheek. Annie put her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her. He kissed her as his hands again slipped under her shirt.

As they lay together later, Annie's head on his chest, she listened to the comforting thud of his heart. She thought about Nicole and the turmoil she had brought into their home. She was glad she was in jail, and she hoped that once she was convicted she would be in prison for the rest of her life. She shifted her weight to snuggle closer to Bobby and his arm tightened around her. She felt him kiss the top of her head.

"I love you Annie," he whispered.

"I love you, too, Bobby," she whispered back.

**End Season 2**

18


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